I Don't Know What's Happening to Me…
Lately I don even know what's happening... It's not the first time I've felt like this, but this time, it feels heavier... My heart just… feels constantly heavy, like I'm carrying something I can't put into words...
I try to smile, I try to laugh, But it's all fake...None of it feels real anymore... Every laugh feels forced, like I'm trying to convince the world ,and maybe myself, that I'm okay... But I'm not...I feel like I'm suffocating in my own thoughts. Overthinking every little thing, even the silliest things that I would normally brush off. And I know it's not who I used to be. I used to joke around with my friends, laugh with them, tease and be teased. But now? It just irritates me. Things that once brought me joy now feel like noise I can't handle.
And here's the weird part—I don want to talk to anyone… but I also dont want to be alone. I feel stuck in this in-between space where everything frustrates me, and nothing makes sense. It's like I'm chasing something, running after something... but I don even know what it is. I just know I feel empty, and that emptiness is suffocating me....I don know how to deal with this anymore. Some days I cry for no reason, and other days I laugh when I don feel like it at all. It's confusing. It's exhausting. And it’s starting to feel like I'm dying slowly inside...
Yes, I've been diagnosed with depression... Maybe that explains some of it. But recently, it's getting worse. That's why I'm sharing this. Not because I want attention or sympathy—but because if anyone knows how to get rid of this feeling… please help me...
(I've already tried exercise and many other things, but nothing seems to help.)
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