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Somewhere between cautious connections and guarding whats left of my heart

Good evening Sir, I hope you had a great day,

Yes, reconditioning is important, but it takes so much strength and patience. It isn’t something that happens overnight. I’ve always been the kind of person who gives everything to others — I help, I listen, I show up — yet when I’m the one hurting, it feels like no one really notices. Most of the time I end up standing alone, whether it’s here or anywhere else. And that feeling stays with you. So your words struck me, and I think it’s finally time I start valuing myself the same way I value everyone else. I shouldn’t be the only one who cares the most. I want the other person to understand my heart, my effort, and the weight I carry too.

Lately, crocheting has become my small escape. There’s something incredibly healing about it — the quiet focus, the calm rhythm, the way my thoughts settle. For a little while, it feels like the world stops demanding so much from me. And when I look at what I’ve made, I feel a kind of pride… almost disbelief that something that gentle and beautiful came from my own hands. It reminds me that I’m capable of creating peace for myself.

And you’re definitely not boring. I actually enjoy the way you express your thoughts so freely — it feels warm, sincere, and comforting. Thank you for sharing that Jackie-dada quote too. I get overwhelmed so easily, but I’ll try to carry that line with me… maybe it’ll remind me to breathe when things feel too heavy.
:Like:
Hello and good evening Ms.. I am glad that you are adopting a new attitude towards life of self-love. If you don't love and respect yourself, the world will treat you like dirt. If someone is not worth your words, he/she is not even worth your silence. Also the new hobby you have started also helps to heal and grow at the same time. I listen to music to wind down for the day and reflect upon my life. Hence I am here only in the evening, sitting in my bar room, having a drink, watching some series on OTT, then play some music and come here for a while to kill time. Stay strong and stay blessed. Cheers!!!!
 
Good evening Sir, I hope you had a great day,

Yes, reconditioning is important, but it takes so much strength and patience. It isn’t something that happens overnight. I’ve always been the kind of person who gives everything to others — I help, I listen, I show up — yet when I’m the one hurting, it feels like no one really notices. Most of the time I end up standing alone, whether it’s here or anywhere else. And that feeling stays with you. So your words struck me, and I think it’s finally time I start valuing myself the same way I value everyone else. I shouldn’t be the only one who cares the most. I want the other person to understand my heart, my effort, and the weight I carry too.

Lately, crocheting has become my small escape. There’s something incredibly healing about it — the quiet focus, the calm rhythm, the way my thoughts settle. For a little while, it feels like the world stops demanding so much from me. And when I look at what I’ve made, I feel a kind of pride… almost disbelief that something that gentle and beautiful came from my own hands. It reminds me that I’m capable of creating peace for myself.

And you’re definitely not boring. I actually enjoy the way you express your thoughts so freely — it feels warm, sincere, and comforting. Thank you for sharing that Jackie-dada quote too. I get overwhelmed so easily, but I’ll try to carry that line with me… maybe it’ll remind me to breathe when things feel too heavy.
:Like:
Hello and good evening once again Ms. . I just wanted to add that if you ever need to express your thoughts, problems or just need an ear to hear you out, you can always message me. I'll be glad to be of any help if I can. I am not a motivational speaker or anything but I do believe that sometimes pouring one's heart out is necessary. Heart and mind are mere vessels which absorb and take in what one feels and experiences. Once they are overwhelmed, they need to be emptied so that one can start anew. Try and do that. I have never tried but I have read about tree hugging as a great form of stress release. Maybe you can try it sometime. Again I will quote few lines from a song which I really like. " Main zindagi ka saath nibhata chala gaya, har fikr ko dhuyein mein udata chala gaya. Barbadiyon ka shok manana zaroor tha, barbadiyon ka jashn manata chala gaya " . Baaki as I quoted before............. Mast rehne ka bhiddu, tension lene ka nahin dene ka hehehheeehe. God bless. Cheers!!!!
 
C

Can you summarise it for me sweetie?? I'm too lazy to read so long but I can guess the context of this how you feeling in that chatroom during these days
I had a small epiphany about why ZoZo feels so heavy, almost suffocating sometimes. After everything thats happened in Telugu room — all the abuse thrown at me and the people I care about — something in me stopped being able to trust the way I used to. I find myself shrinking my words, softening my presence, afraid that even a normal sentence could be twisted into something ugly. It only takes one person to turn it all against me again. And the way people switch up so suddenly… it leaves me feeling unsteady, questioning why I keep reaching out when the connections I make fall apart almost as soon as they begin.

And then it hits me: this is all supposed to be “virtual,” just screens and usernames, yet the hurt sinks into me like it’s happening face to face. People I thought were constants drift away. Friends change. Those I trusted disappear without even a goodbye. And I’m left sitting with this quiet, stubborn ache that feels foolish but still hurts in ways I can’t explain. It makes me wonder why anyone stays here at all — in a place where friendships are so fragile, where loneliness slips in even when the room is full, where abuse becomes background noise everyone learns to tolerate. And yet somehow, I stay too, almost like it’s a brainrot — this cycle I can’t pull myself out of, coming back even when I know it’s hurting me. In my case, it’s hard not to feel like even the few people I have left will eventually fade too, leaving me to start over with the same empty space in my chest...
 
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