The cost of pretending to be everyone's friend
I need you to stop going around telling people that I have a grudge against you. I stopped associating with you for a reason, and I stepped down from my role for a reason. Those decisions were not made lightly, and the fact that you continue pushing your own version of events only reinforces why I made them in the first place.
For the longest time, I blamed the people beneath you. I thought they were the problem. I thought they were the reason things became so toxic. Looking back, I realize they were only part of the picture. The more I paid attention, the more I understood that much of that behavior was enabled by you. The common denominator was never them—it was you.
You’re not the victim here, no matter how much you try to present yourself as one. The entire room is your playing field, and everyone else is just a pawn. People fight, get isolated, get targeted, fall out with one another, and somehow you always manage to keep your hands clean while standing above the chaos. Then, after all the damage has already been done, you suddenly appear to deliver a verdict and act as though you were the one who solved the problem.
Your pattern has always been the same. When issues are happening, people are told to ignore them. When someone needs support, they’re left to deal with it themselves. Then, once everything has exploded and everyone else has suffered through the fallout, you step in as the voice of reason and try to collect credit for restoring order. It’s leadership theater, nothing more.
I spent a long time trying to stay quiet. Even when I still had my role, I stopped coming to you and your peer for help because there was no point. The only thing I ever got was silence, indifference, or being ignored. I learned very quickly that if I wanted my problems solved, I would have to solve them myself.
The only staff member who genuinely supported me was @Aphrodite. She treated me like a person. You never did. For all your titles and responsibilities, you never even saw me as a human being, let alone as a peer. You were staff in name, but when it came to actually being there for people, you were absent whenever it mattered.
What I find particularly insulting is the way you try to rewrite history after the fact. The synchronized apology messages, the carefully timed concern, the “sorry if you felt abandoned” statements from you and your peer don’t change anything. They don’t address what happened. They don’t erase the months of being ignored. They don’t erase the fact that when I was dealing with issues, I was left to deal with them alone.
And then there are the public hero acts. Handing out badges, talking about how you gave someone a “last chance” when other admins disagreed, presenting yourself as the fair and reasonable admin of a room. None of that impresses me. It doesn’t make you a hero. It just helps maintain an image and earn approval from the same circle of people who benefit from your favoritism.
I’ve seen where your loyalties lie. I’ve seen the selective enforcement, the political games, and the constant effort to maintain the image of being the nice guy who rises above the drama. The difference is that I’m no longer buying it.
The reason you fold when things get messy isn't because you're trying to be fair or fix the situation. It's because you're worried about how you'll look. So instead of standing by your decisions, you push the blame onto someone else and step away from the consequences.You'd rather stay on everyone's good side than do what you actually believe is right. And when it comes to difficult choices, you never seem willing to take the heat for them. The only time you act is when you can stay in the background and avoid being held accountable. It's easier for you to let others deal with the fallout than risk people criticizing you.
I also noticed things that don’t add up. Seeing you active while appearing offline made it clear that not everything is as transparent as you would like people to believe. The more I paid attention, the more contradictions I saw between what was being said publicly and what was actually happening behind the scenes.
What bothers me most is that until recently, I thought the worst people in Zozo were the ones who openly abused me. The people who talked about my life, insulted me personally, dragged my family into things, and said horrible things about my parents. I blamed them for everything.
Now I see it differently.
At least they were honest about who they were.
The person who attacks you to your face is easier to deal with than the person who quietly enables the environment that allows it to happen. The loud abuser isn’t nearly as dangerous as the person who sits on the sidelines, manipulates situations from a distance, benefits from the outcome, and then tells everyone to “ignore it” after the damage has already been done.
You smile, play the diplomat, act concerned, and present yourself as reasonable, but underneath it all I’ve come to see something very different. People who openly dislike you are far easier to understand than people who pretend to be everyone’s friend while quietly pulling strings in the background.
And despite what you seem to believe, people aren’t blind. They notice the favoritism. They notice the contradictions. They notice the gap between the image you project and the reality of your actions. I’m not the first person to experience this, and I’m certainly not the first person to walk away with these conclusions.
So stop portraying me as someone obsessed with you or carrying some personal vendetta. Losing respect for someone is not the same thing as having a grudge.
I chose to distance myself because of what I saw, what I experienced, and what I eventually understood. Respect that decision. Leave my name out of your conversations. Stop pushing narratives about me. Leave me alone and let me talk to my friends in peace.
And before you tell another person that I have some irrational grudge against you, ask yourself one question:
What exactly did I ever do to you to deserve any of this?
Because from where I’m standing, all I ever did was trust the wrong person.
P.s : Many people asked me what was going on so i hope this answers your questions as well.
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