Previous Episode
BETRAYAL
Me: comes back from a walk, casually sits down
She: *sniffs me with extreme prejudice*
So… you’ve been petting other dogs.
Me: What? No—well okay, yes. But he came up to me! I had no choice!
She: You had a choice. And you chose betrayal.
Me: It was a golden retriever! He had the floppies! What was I supposed to do?
She: Not touch him. Look away. Respect our bond.
Me: You sniff butts in public. I pet one dog and suddenly I’m the bad girl?
She: I sniff with purpose. You pet with lust.
Me: It meant nothing! It was just a quick scratch behind the ears!
She: *dramatic sigh* I need time. And Treats. And cuddles. Yeah. We'll see.
Me: Are we still friends?
She: Depends. How many treats are you willing to sacrifice?
BETRAYAL
Me: comes back from a walk, casually sits down
She: *sniffs me with extreme prejudice*
So… you’ve been petting other dogs.
Me: What? No—well okay, yes. But he came up to me! I had no choice!
She: You had a choice. And you chose betrayal.
Me: It was a golden retriever! He had the floppies! What was I supposed to do?
She: Not touch him. Look away. Respect our bond.
Me: You sniff butts in public. I pet one dog and suddenly I’m the bad girl?
She: I sniff with purpose. You pet with lust.
Me: It meant nothing! It was just a quick scratch behind the ears!
She: *dramatic sigh* I need time. And Treats. And cuddles. Yeah. We'll see.
Me: Are we still friends?
She: Depends. How many treats are you willing to sacrifice?
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