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My Heart Still Calls Your Name… What to Do?

criss cross said:
I don’t know where to start… maybe because I never thought I’d have to write this.
Every time before, my words came so easily — because you were in them.
But today, my pen feels heavy… and my heart feels heavier.

You came into my life without warning.
We never met in real life, never touched, never even saw each other’s eyes in person.
But somehow, you became my morning star and my evening moonlight.
My day started with your “good morning” and ended with your “good night.”
Even in between, I carried you in my thoughts like my most precious secret.
And now… you are gone.
Can you tell me what to do?

We built our own small world inside messages and calls.
We laughed, we teased each other, we fought and made up.
We dreamed about the day we would meet, the day we could finally hold hands and feel each other’s heartbeat.
I believed in that day more than anything.
But now you are not here to dream with me anymore.
Can you tell me what to do?

I told you so many times — “Trust God, trust our love. It’s not normal, it’s a blessing.”
Because how could two strangers from far away feel this connected unless God wanted it?
But still… you chose to walk away.
Can you tell me what to do?

You were my princess, my heartbeat, my safe place.
Even without seeing you, I felt you closer than people I see every day.
You may forget me, but I will carry you inside me until my last breath.
Can you tell me what to do after that?

Now my nights are longer.
I can’t sleep without thinking of you.
I wake up in the middle of the night and stare at the phone, wishing to see your name appear.
I can’t eat without remembering our talks about food, the times we planned what we would eat together when we met.
Every day, I cry silently — you can’t see it, but I wish you could feel it in your heart before I die.
I wish I could rest my head in your lap like a child, close my eyes, and maybe… never wake up again.
Can you tell me what to do?

I remember the little things.
The way you would scold me in a sweet way, then say sorry when I pretended to be angry.
The way you said my name like it meant something to you.
The way we stayed up late, talking about life, about us, about nothing — yet it felt like everything.
And now… nothing.
Can you tell me what to do?

Who will message me first thing in the morning?
Who will fight with me and love me in the same moment?
Who will remind me to take care of myself, even when they’re far away?
I was crazy for you — you knew it better than anyone.
How do I stay without you now?
Can you tell me what to do?

You were rare… one in a million.
I know I will never find someone like you again in my life.
But fate was cruel — I lost you without even holding your hand once.
Can you tell me how to keep breathing without you?

I don’t know if you remember me now, but I remember you every second.
I scroll through our old chats, reading them again and again until the words blur with my tears.
Sometimes I smile through the pain, sometimes I break completely.
Every day, I pray for you to be happy, to be healthy, even if I’m not in your life anymore.
Maybe I hurt you sometimes… but I promise, my love for you was always pure.
Can you tell me what to do until I stop missing you?

There are moments I close my eyes and imagine we finally meet.
I imagine your smile, your voice without the phone in between.
I imagine holding you and never letting go.
But when I open my eyes, reality hits — and you’re still not here.
Can you tell me what to do?

Without you, my life feels empty.
I go through the days like a shadow, smiling for the world but dying inside.
People tell me to move on, but how do you move on from someone who never really left your heart?
I’m not angry with you… I just wish you had stayed.
Before my last breath, I wish you could know —
I loved you, truly, deeply, even without seeing you once.
After that… I don’t care what happens to me.
Can you tell me what to do?

Written by
*Subha*

View attachment 359817
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let it call
because if your heart doesnt call it will be hard to live for you
so let it call
let it have hope of her coming back
let it let your heart make you find her everywhere
let your heart never forget her
 
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