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LOST IN MY OWN FEARS

Illusion said:
I don't know why on earth every time I try to form a connection with someone, I inevitably sabotage it.... Completely Fucked things...It's as if an invisible string yanks me back, preventing me from getting close.
I become overwhelmed, talking excessively, only to abruptly withdraw, leaving the other person bewildered. They assume I've lost interest, and honestly, I don't blame them... Who can tolerate this erratic behavior?
I literally hate this side of mine.. It makes me feel pathetic, like I'm perpetually doomed to repeat this cycle. I yearn for meaningful connections, but my own insecurities hold me hostage.Why must I be my own worst enemy? Why can't I break free from this self-destructive pattern? The pain of isolation is suffocating me, and I'm desperate to find a way out... But I failed... I ended up crying everytime bcz of this... Cause it really hurts when I lost someone close to mine just bcz of my fucking insecurities...
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if the person you love, knew this whatever your nature and thinking is, if he too loves you, he will try to adjust with your so called insecurities, and and and

you wont feel like this anymore...
 
Illusion said:
I don't know why on earth every time I try to form a connection with someone, I inevitably sabotage it.... Completely Fucked things...It's as if an invisible string yanks me back, preventing me from getting close.
I become overwhelmed, talking excessively, only to abruptly withdraw, leaving the other person bewildered. They assume I've lost interest, and honestly, I don't blame them... Who can tolerate this erratic behavior?
I literally hate this side of mine.. It makes me feel pathetic, like I'm perpetually doomed to repeat this cycle. I yearn for meaningful connections, but my own insecurities hold me hostage.Why must I be my own worst enemy? Why can't I break free from this self-destructive pattern? The pain of isolation is suffocating me, and I'm desperate to find a way out... But I failed... I ended up crying everytime bcz of this... Cause it really hurts when I lost someone close to mine just bcz of my fucking insecurities...
Click to expand...
I feel your pain, truly. It takes courage to open up like this and admit these struggles. You're not alone many people feel exactly what you're describing. Healing starts with awareness, and you're already halfway there. Don’t be too hard on yourself, please. You deserve connection, love, and understanding.!
 
Illusion said:
I don't know why on earth every time I try to form a connection with someone, I inevitably sabotage it.... Completely Fucked things...It's as if an invisible string yanks me back, preventing me from getting close.
I become overwhelmed, talking excessively, only to abruptly withdraw, leaving the other person bewildered. They assume I've lost interest, and honestly, I don't blame them... Who can tolerate this erratic behavior?
I literally hate this side of mine.. It makes me feel pathetic, like I'm perpetually doomed to repeat this cycle. I yearn for meaningful connections, but my own insecurities hold me hostage.Why must I be my own worst enemy? Why can't I break free from this self-destructive pattern? The pain of isolation is suffocating me, and I'm desperate to find a way out... But I failed... I ended up crying everytime bcz of this... Cause it really hurts when I lost someone close to mine just bcz of my fucking insecurities...
Click to expand...
This was... and still is me. After spending for 3 months telling someone I loved them (they said it back to me), she just suddenly stopped messaging me, responding/replying or whatever, left of me on read, and ghosted me.

So now, I refuse point blank to let anyone get close to me, I won't do it anymore. That metaphorical wall is built up... all the way to space, because I don't want to get hurt anymore, I don't want to crumble... nor do I want to be perpetually friend zoned if I get close to someone either. I hear you, I feel you not literally... but you know what I mean...
 
MysticNova said:
I feel your pain, truly. It takes courage to open up like this and admit these struggles. You're not alone many people feel exactly what you're describing. Healing starts with awareness, and you're already halfway there. Don’t be too hard on yourself, please. You deserve connection, love, and understanding.!
Click to expand...
May be... The healing process is going on
 
Nemo said:
This was... and still is me. After spending for 3 months telling someone I loved them (they said it back to me), she just suddenly stopped messaging me, responding/replying or whatever, left of me on read, and ghosted me.

So now, I refuse point blank to let anyone get close to me, I won't do it anymore. That metaphorical wall is built up... all the way to space, because I don't want to get hurt anymore, I don't want to crumble... nor do I want to be perpetually friend zoned if I get close to someone either. I hear you, I feel you not literally... but you know what I mean...
Click to expand...
That's what is happening with me, I just don't want to go through the same phase again... I'm tired of overthinking and crying over someone... I just can't deal with that anymore
 
Illusion said:
I don't know why on earth every time I try to form a connection with someone, I inevitably sabotage it.... Completely Fucked things...It's as if an invisible string yanks me back, preventing me from getting close.
I become overwhelmed, talking excessively, only to abruptly withdraw, leaving the other person bewildered. They assume I've lost interest, and honestly, I don't blame them... Who can tolerate this erratic behavior?
I literally hate this side of mine.. It makes me feel pathetic, like I'm perpetually doomed to repeat this cycle. I yearn for meaningful connections, but my own insecurities hold me hostage.Why must I be my own worst enemy? Why can't I break free from this self-destructive pattern? The pain of isolation is suffocating me, and I'm desperate to find a way out... But I failed... I ended up crying everytime bcz of this... Cause it really hurts when I lost someone close to mine just bcz of my fucking insecurities...
Click to expand...
This happens with everyone, when we meet someone new, the desire to talk is very strong but gradually that attraction starts to diminish, this is not your fault, this is human nature Don't consider these things as your own mistake and be happy
 
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