nandini00
Favoured Frenzy
Sometimes it feels like it won’t get better.
Like this is the version of you
that life decided to keep.
Like the ache has moved in.
Unpacked.
Put pictures on the wall.
Like the nights are going to stay this long.
Like the knot in your chest
is permanent.
You wake up tired.
You go to bed tired.
And in between
you’re just... surviving.
Smiling when your face doesn’t feel like it.
Saying "I’m fine"
when "fine" is the biggest lie you’ve told all week.
And people say "it gets better."
And you want to scream.
Because right now?
It doesn’t feel like it.
It feels like drowning
and being told the water will turn to air
any minute now.
But listen to me.
It does get better.
Not all at once.
It get better ugly.
It gets better slow.
It gets better on the day you manage to wash your face.
It gets better when you laugh
and it doesn’t hurt.
It gets better when food taste like food again.
It gets better when you realize
you went a whole day
without thinking about it.
You won’t believe me today.
That’s okay.
I didn’t believe it either
on the days I was counting ceiling cracks
at 3am.
But the sun came up.
Again.
And again.
And slowly,
so did I.
So if you’re in it right now,
in the part where it feels like winter
will never end:
breathe.
Stay.
Don’t make permanent decisions
with temporary feelings.
Because it does get better.
I’m proof.
And one day,
you’ll be someone’s proof too.
You’ll tell them:
I thought it wouldn’t get better.
But look at me now.
Hold on.
The better is coming.
Even if you can’t see it yet.
Especially then.
Like this is the version of you
that life decided to keep.
Like the ache has moved in.
Unpacked.
Put pictures on the wall.
Like the nights are going to stay this long.
Like the knot in your chest
is permanent.
You wake up tired.
You go to bed tired.
And in between
you’re just... surviving.
Smiling when your face doesn’t feel like it.
Saying "I’m fine"
when "fine" is the biggest lie you’ve told all week.
And people say "it gets better."
And you want to scream.
Because right now?
It doesn’t feel like it.
It feels like drowning
and being told the water will turn to air
any minute now.
But listen to me.
It does get better.
Not all at once.
It get better ugly.
It gets better slow.
It gets better on the day you manage to wash your face.
It gets better when you laugh
and it doesn’t hurt.
It gets better when food taste like food again.
It gets better when you realize
you went a whole day
without thinking about it.
You won’t believe me today.
That’s okay.
I didn’t believe it either
on the days I was counting ceiling cracks
at 3am.
But the sun came up.
Again.
And again.
And slowly,
so did I.
So if you’re in it right now,
in the part where it feels like winter
will never end:
breathe.
Stay.
Don’t make permanent decisions
with temporary feelings.
Because it does get better.
I’m proof.
And one day,
you’ll be someone’s proof too.
You’ll tell them:
I thought it wouldn’t get better.
But look at me now.
Hold on.
The better is coming.
Even if you can’t see it yet.
Especially then.
