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The Drop
It didn’t happen in a burst.
There was no breakdown, no flood of tears, no final scream.
Just stillness.
Like something inside me had stopped trying.
Stopped hoping.
Stopped asking.
That was the moment despair moved in—not like a wave crashing down, but like water seeping through cracks in a wall that had been crumbling for too long.
I no longer wanted to explain myself.
Didn’t want to be understood.
Didn’t want to be fixed.
What was the point?
The light that used to be at the end of the tunnel wasn’t there anymore. Or maybe it was… but I had stopped looking for it. Looking required effort. Effort required reason. I had neither.
I wasn’t angry at the world.
Not even disappointed.
Just… done.
Done pretending. Done hoping someone would see through the quiet.
Done believing I mattered enough to be missed.
People still texted occasionally—small talk, memes, the usual. I replied when I had to, with a “haha” or a thumbs-up. They probably thought I was just introverting again. And that’s the thing—when you’ve built a life around being “low maintenance,” people never think the silence is a scream.
I walked through the days like a shadow.
Smiled when needed.
Worked when required.
Nodded when spoken to.
Inside, I was gone.
Sometimes I’d lie in bed and imagine vanishing. Not dramatically, not tragically—just gently… fading out. Like a radio turning to static. Like a candle that burned all the way down.
I wasn’t looking for someone to save me anymore.
I had tried.
They hadn’t seen me. Or maybe they had—and just didn’t know what to do.
And in that emptiness, something cold but oddly comforting settled in:
Resignation.
No more hope.
No more reaching out.
No more aching.
Just silence.
And in a way, that silence was the loudest thing I’d ever felt.
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Next Chapter:
Ashes and After : 4 The Cliff’s Edge
Previous Chapter: https://www.chatzozo.com/forum/threads/ashes-and-after-3-the-disappearing-act.61029/ _______________________________ The Cliff’s Edge There’s a moment—one that I don’t think people talk about enough—when sadness stops feeling like an emotion and starts feeling like a place...
www.chatzozo.com
The Drop
It didn’t happen in a burst.
There was no breakdown, no flood of tears, no final scream.
Just stillness.
Like something inside me had stopped trying.
Stopped hoping.
Stopped asking.
That was the moment despair moved in—not like a wave crashing down, but like water seeping through cracks in a wall that had been crumbling for too long.
I no longer wanted to explain myself.
Didn’t want to be understood.
Didn’t want to be fixed.
What was the point?
The light that used to be at the end of the tunnel wasn’t there anymore. Or maybe it was… but I had stopped looking for it. Looking required effort. Effort required reason. I had neither.
I wasn’t angry at the world.
Not even disappointed.
Just… done.
Done pretending. Done hoping someone would see through the quiet.
Done believing I mattered enough to be missed.
People still texted occasionally—small talk, memes, the usual. I replied when I had to, with a “haha” or a thumbs-up. They probably thought I was just introverting again. And that’s the thing—when you’ve built a life around being “low maintenance,” people never think the silence is a scream.
I walked through the days like a shadow.
Smiled when needed.
Worked when required.
Nodded when spoken to.
Inside, I was gone.
Sometimes I’d lie in bed and imagine vanishing. Not dramatically, not tragically—just gently… fading out. Like a radio turning to static. Like a candle that burned all the way down.
I wasn’t looking for someone to save me anymore.
I had tried.
They hadn’t seen me. Or maybe they had—and just didn’t know what to do.
And in that emptiness, something cold but oddly comforting settled in:
Resignation.
No more hope.
No more reaching out.
No more aching.
Just silence.
And in a way, that silence was the loudest thing I’d ever felt.
_________________________________
Next Chapter:
Ashes and After : 6 The Quiet Rebellion
Previous Chapter: https://www.chatzozo.com/forum/threads/ashes-and-after-5-the-drop.61510/ -------------------------------------------------- The Quiet Rebellion It didn’t come like lightning. There was no epiphany. No breakdown. No dramatic turning point. Just a moment - So small, I could...
www.chatzozo.com
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i know i have you love. Mmmwaaah
