So, last night I decided to change my bio to “Moon of Zozo” or whatever that means. Then I had a midnight epiphany—like, wait a minute, the moon? That glorified rock just reflecting sunlight like it's some kind of celebrity? Hard pass. It’s like that one friend who shines in group pics but has a whole mess going on behind the scenes. Nope, not me! And let’s be real, it’s basically a giant ball of “look at my craters, I’m mysterious!” But honestly, who wants to be compared to that? I woke up, rolled my eyes at my poor life choices, switched it back to “Elara,” and went back to sleep. #I am not moon