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ABANDONED
Me: I’m back!
She: *glares from the couch dramatically* …You abandoned me.
Me: I was gone for three minutes.
She: Time is a social construct and I don't subscribe to your human measurements. For all I knew, you died.
Me: I went to receive a courier !
She: And what if you’d been eaten by squirrels? What then?
Me: The squirrels?
She: They’re organized. I’ve seen them plotting.
Me: Did you… chew the rug while I was gone?
She: I panicked. Grief does strange things to a dog.
Me: Three. Minutes.
She: I wrote a will. You weren’t in it.
Me: I was literally right at the gate!
She: You could’ve at least left a scarf. Something that smelled like you. A goodbye note. An apology poem.
Me: Dramatic much?
She: I’ve already started my memoir. Chapter one: Betrayal at the Door.
ABANDONED
Me: I’m back!
She: *glares from the couch dramatically* …You abandoned me.
Me: I was gone for three minutes.
She: Time is a social construct and I don't subscribe to your human measurements. For all I knew, you died.
Me: I went to receive a courier !
She: And what if you’d been eaten by squirrels? What then?
Me: The squirrels?
She: They’re organized. I’ve seen them plotting.
Me: Did you… chew the rug while I was gone?
She: I panicked. Grief does strange things to a dog.
Me: Three. Minutes.
She: I wrote a will. You weren’t in it.
Me: I was literally right at the gate!
She: You could’ve at least left a scarf. Something that smelled like you. A goodbye note. An apology poem.
Me: Dramatic much?
She: I’ve already started my memoir. Chapter one: Betrayal at the Door.
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