i'm still attracted to my ex as i was with them for two years before it started going wrong, i know what he wants, his likes, he needs,
it's hard to just turn off my feeling of wanting to look after him, to serve him almost. it's how it started to feel, i was serving him but i seemed to fit that role so well.
it's just when i started to come out my shell when i got board, and wanted to go out more not just in town and to dinners i wanted to go to Amsterdam with him on a cruise but he turned it down flat. i would show him events to go on and my interests to be out doors more, camping, bush crafting and even just going swimming it was all turned down. I still love him but i can't go on with the role he wants.
i know i'm only attracted to him in a lustful way now, but i miss the time i loved him.
I'd feel safe when i'm with him, comforted by his embraces but he only see's me for one thing.
we are friends now but i know if I stop giving him the over side to me he'll drop me.
but i'm not ready for another relationships either so I am content with the arrangement for now
thank you for reading!