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The world you wanted...

JasGhost

JasGhost

Shadow Lurker
VIP


You said you wanted a world,
Where white and dark collide yet coexist,
Where judgment fades like whispers in the nights,
Where grief is none and calm takes its place,
Where peace surrounds your heart and you're free,
A place you call as your own,
A place just Like your dreams,
Where your soul feels whole like you're at HOME



But now you're here, my love, so I must ask—
Is this the world you wanted, the one you were wishing for?
Is this the peace you’ve been searching al along,
Or does it still leave restless shadows behind?
Is this your heaven, the one from your dreams?
Or a hidden hell, masking your wound from prying eyes?
Are you free, my love, or still feel burdened?
Does this place hold warmth, or cold like this world?



Are you still wearing a smile to hide your frown,
Or do you still feel lost in broken pieces of your existence?
Are you ready to see yourself from my eyes,
Or does the image from that broken mirror still lingering in your mind?
Are you ready to love, to let me in,
Or does grief still whisper, "You're not free"?



Will you stay here, make this your FOREVER ,
Or does the journey call you to go further and farther?
Do you think this world is where you belong,
Or does the search continue forever till an infinite point?
Is this the home you’ve dreamed to find, the one you can call as MINE.
Or just a fleeting stop on the roads unknown?



I can feel the wait you're carrying still
That quiet fire burning within, that untamed will.
But my love, I'm here my arms open wide,
Whether you choose to stay or want to hide.
I’ll wait for your answer, I’ll wait to see,
Whether you name this your heaven or decide to leave us behind.
For love, my dear, is not a cage,
But a flame that warms through every stage.
Stay if you're whole, stay if you’re free,
But I’ll only ask,
"Are you here for me?"

​
 
Last edited:
JasGhost said:


You said you wanted a world,
Where white and dark collide yet coexist,
Where judgment fades like whispers in the nights,
Where grief is none and calm takes its place,
Where peace surrounds your heart and you're free,
A place you call as your own,
A place just Like your dreams,
Where your soul feels whole like you're at HOME



But now you're here, my love, so I must ask—
Is this the world you wanted, the one you were wishing for?
Is this the peace you’ve been searching al along,
Or does it still leave restless shadows behind?
Is this your heaven, the one from your dreams?
Or a hidden hell, masking your wound from prying eyes?
Are you free, my love, or still feel burdened?
Does this place hold warmth, or cold like this world?



Are you still wearing a smile to hide your frown,
Or do you still feel lost in broken pieces of your existence?
Are you ready to see yourself from my eyes,
Or does the image from that broken mirror still lingering in your mind?
Are you ready to love, to let me in,
Or does grief still whisper, "You're not free"?



Will you stay here, make this your FOREVER ,
Or does the journey call you to go further and farther?
Do you think this world is where you belong,
Or does the search continue forever till an infinite point?
Is this the home you’ve dreamed to find, the one you can call as MINE.
Or just a fleeting stop on the roads unknown?



I can feel the wait you're carrying still
That quiet fire burning within, that untamed will.
But my love, I'm here my arms open wide,
Whether you choose to stay or want to hide.
I’ll wait for your answer, I’ll wait to see,
Whether you name this your heaven or decide to leave us behind.
For love, my dear, is not a cage,
But a flame that warms through every stage.
Stay if you're whole, stay if you’re free,
But I’ll only ask,
"Are you here for me?"

​
Click to expand...
A world of dreams, of light and shade,
A place of peace, where hearts are laid.
Yet questions linger, shadows stay,
Do you feel whole or drift away?

I see the fire, the quiet fight,
The yearning for a starless night.
Stay, if free, if love feels true,
But answer, love—are you here too?
 
JasGhost said:
HOME
Click to expand...

JasGhost said:
FOREVER
Click to expand...

JasGhost said:
MINE.
Click to expand...
Usage of above three words -you exactly reminded me about myself ! What a feeling ? Isn’t it ?
A sweet home is a place wrapped in warmth and comfort, where love radiates in every corner. It carries the scent of familiar things and the sound of laughter echoing through the rooms. It’s a safe haven where you feel understood and at peace, a place where the world outside fades away. Emotions of joy, belonging, and contentment flow freely, offering a sense of grounding and connection. In its walls, memories are woven, and hearts are nurtured, creating a space filled with calm and endless affection.

JasGhost said:
For love, my dear, is not a cage,
But a flame that warms through every stage.
Click to expand...
True that!!! By the way - you are not a ghost , but an eternal realist!
JasGhost said:
"Are you here for me?"
Click to expand...
Am I not ? Yes, I am ! Come HOME soon .LOL
 
JasGhost said:


You said you wanted a world,
Where white and dark collide yet coexist,
Where judgment fades like whispers in the nights,
Where grief is none and calm takes its place,
Where peace surrounds your heart and you're free,
A place you call as your own,
A place just Like your dreams,
Where your soul feels whole like you're at HOME



But now you're here, my love, so I must ask—
Is this the world you wanted, the one you were wishing for?
Is this the peace you’ve been searching al along,
Or does it still leave restless shadows behind?
Is this your heaven, the one from your dreams?
Or a hidden hell, masking your wound from prying eyes?
Are you free, my love, or still feel burdened?
Does this place hold warmth, or cold like this world?



Are you still wearing a smile to hide your frown,
Or do you still feel lost in broken pieces of your existence?
Are you ready to see yourself from my eyes,
Or does the image from that broken mirror still lingering in your mind?
Are you ready to love, to let me in,
Or does grief still whisper, "You're not free"?



Will you stay here, make this your FOREVER ,
Or does the journey call you to go further and farther?
Do you think this world is where you belong,
Or does the search continue forever till an infinite point?
Is this the home you’ve dreamed to find, the one you can call as MINE.
Or just a fleeting stop on the roads unknown?



I can feel the wait you're carrying still
That quiet fire burning within, that untamed will.
But my love, I'm here my arms open wide,
Whether you choose to stay or want to hide.
I’ll wait for your answer, I’ll wait to see,
Whether you name this your heaven or decide to leave us behind.
For love, my dear, is not a cage,
But a flame that warms through every stage.
Stay if you're whole, stay if you’re free,
But I’ll only ask,
"Are you here for me?"

​
Click to expand...
Nice Creation..
*A_AICS
 
JasGhost said:


You said you wanted a world,
Where white and dark collide yet coexist,
Where judgment fades like whispers in the nights,
Where grief is none and calm takes its place,
Where peace surrounds your heart and you're free,
A place you call as your own,
A place just Like your dreams,
Where your soul feels whole like you're at HOME



But now you're here, my love, so I must ask—
Is this the world you wanted, the one you were wishing for?
Is this the peace you’ve been searching al along,
Or does it still leave restless shadows behind?
Is this your heaven, the one from your dreams?
Or a hidden hell, masking your wound from prying eyes?
Are you free, my love, or still feel burdened?
Does this place hold warmth, or cold like this world?



Are you still wearing a smile to hide your frown,
Or do you still feel lost in broken pieces of your existence?
Are you ready to see yourself from my eyes,
Or does the image from that broken mirror still lingering in your mind?
Are you ready to love, to let me in,
Or does grief still whisper, "You're not free"?



Will you stay here, make this your FOREVER ,
Or does the journey call you to go further and farther?
Do you think this world is where you belong,
Or does the search continue forever till an infinite point?
Is this the home you’ve dreamed to find, the one you can call as MINE.
Or just a fleeting stop on the roads unknown?



I can feel the wait you're carrying still
That quiet fire burning within, that untamed will.
But my love, I'm here my arms open wide,
Whether you choose to stay or want to hide.
I’ll wait for your answer, I’ll wait to see,
Whether you name this your heaven or decide to leave us behind.
For love, my dear, is not a cage,
But a flame that warms through every stage.
Stay if you're whole, stay if you’re free,
But I’ll only ask,
"Are you here for me?"

​
Click to expand...
This is a deeply emotional and thought-provoking piece that explores themes of love, self-discovery, and the struggle between freedom and attachment. The contrast between longing for peace and the lingering sense of unrest creates a poignant tension throughout the poem. Your use of imagery—“white and dark collide yet coexist,” “grief is none and calm takes its place,” and “hidden hell masking your wound from prying eyes”—illustrates the complexity of the emotional experience, particularly in the context of love and healing.

The recurring question, “Are you here for me?” feels like a call for understanding and honesty, both from the speaker and from the person they address. It captures the vulnerability and uncertainty that often accompany deep emotional connections. You create a sense of waiting, but not in a passive way; it’s more of an invitation to confront one's true self, to see past the illusions and into the heart of what they truly need.

The progression from envisioning an ideal world to questioning whether that reality is truly being lived is powerful. You show the conflict between the dream of peace and the reality of carrying emotional burdens, and the tension between wanting someone to be whole and understanding that the journey to wholeness is complex.

Your choice of language—“grief still whispers,” “are you ready to see yourself from my eyes,” “I’ll wait for your answer”—gives a sense of both patience and urgency. It’s as if you’re offering them the space to choose, but also making it clear that this is an active choice with consequences.

This piece could be expanded into an even deeper exploration of these emotions, maybe delving more into the internal battles of both the speaker and the person they address. Would you like to explore these themes further, or refine any particular sections? The emotional depth here is really striking.
 
criss cross said:
I see the fire, the quiet fight,
The yearning for a starless night.
Stay, if free, if love feels true,
But answer, love—are you here too?
Click to expand...
A poetic reply to my scribbling is always appreciated...
This part i like the most.. Is this your work? (if it's then i must say wow...)
 
EkaLustYa said:
Usage of above three words -you exactly reminded me about myself ! What a feeling ? Isn’t it ?
Click to expand...
It's yes! Actually out of those three, 2 words were basically my inspiration for this poem.
And it's a wholesome feeling... A feeling that makes one pause thier search for more and call it a day.
EkaLustYa said:
True that!!! By the way - you are not a ghost , but an eternal realist!
Click to expand...
Ohhh i like this compliment.. Should i change Shadow lurker to Eternal realist now? !!!
EkaLustYa said:
Am I not ? Yes, I am ! Come HOME soon .LOL
Click to expand...
Lol... For clarity i must ask, "You mean actually come home, or come to your basement " jk jk not taking any risk you know... :p

Thanks for the review and your time.
 
Lion_Hearted said:
This piece could be expanded into an even deeper exploration of these emotions, maybe delving more into the internal battles of both the speaker and the person they address.
Click to expand...
It could be but it looks better if it stays subtle and simple .Tho I'm planning on writing another version of it .

Thank you for the review.... It was long evaluation... Yeah i don't agree with some points as i have different thoughts while writing this but i like reading from other people's pov too soo it's much appreciated. :)
 
JasGhost said:
It could be but it looks better if it stays subtle and simple .Tho I'm planning on writing another version of it .

Thank you for the review.... It was long evaluation... Yeah i don't agree with some points as i have different thoughts while writing this but i like reading from other people's pov too soo it's much appreciated. :)
Click to expand...
You're absolutely right—sometimes, simplicity speaks volumes, and subtlety can often be more impactful than intricate details. It's wonderful that you're considering writing another version; revisiting and reshaping creative work often brings out new dimensions and depth.

And about the review, it’s totally okay not to agree with everything. After all, art and writing are deeply personal, and every creator brings their unique perspective to it. Exploring different viewpoints helps refine your own voice and vision even more.

If you’d like, I’d be happy to review your new version or discuss any specific points in more detail. Keep writing, and thank you for sharing your thoughts—your openness to feedback is truly commendable!
 
JasGhost said:


You said you wanted a world,
Where white and dark collide yet coexist,
Where judgment fades like whispers in the nights,
Where grief is none and calm takes its place,
Where peace surrounds your heart and you're free,
A place you call as your own,
A place just Like your dreams,
Where your soul feels whole like you're at HOME



But now you're here, my love, so I must ask—
Is this the world you wanted, the one you were wishing for?
Is this the peace you’ve been searching al along,
Or does it still leave restless shadows behind?
Is this your heaven, the one from your dreams?
Or a hidden hell, masking your wound from prying eyes?
Are you free, my love, or still feel burdened?
Does this place hold warmth, or cold like this world?



Are you still wearing a smile to hide your frown,
Or do you still feel lost in broken pieces of your existence?
Are you ready to see yourself from my eyes,
Or does the image from that broken mirror still lingering in your mind?
Are you ready to love, to let me in,
Or does grief still whisper, "You're not free"?



Will you stay here, make this your FOREVER ,
Or does the journey call you to go further and farther?
Do you think this world is where you belong,
Or does the search continue forever till an infinite point?
Is this the home you’ve dreamed to find, the one you can call as MINE.
Or just a fleeting stop on the roads unknown?



I can feel the wait you're carrying still
That quiet fire burning within, that untamed will.
But my love, I'm here my arms open wide,
Whether you choose to stay or want to hide.
I’ll wait for your answer, I’ll wait to see,
Whether you name this your heaven or decide to leave us behind.
For love, my dear, is not a cage,
But a flame that warms through every stage.
Stay if you're whole, stay if you’re free,
But I’ll only ask,
"Are you here for me?"

​
Click to expand...
Wonderfully elaborates importance, wish, feelings, dreams, eagerness , excitement & will of proximity with each other. Superb. Ty for sharing. :cool:


1736783171730.png
 
JasGhost said:


You said you wanted a world,
Where white and dark collide yet coexist,
Where judgment fades like whispers in the nights,
Where grief is none and calm takes its place,
Where peace surrounds your heart and you're free,
A place you call as your own,
A place just Like your dreams,
Where your soul feels whole like you're at HOME



But now you're here, my love, so I must ask—
Is this the world you wanted, the one you were wishing for?
Is this the peace you’ve been searching al along,
Or does it still leave restless shadows behind?
Is this your heaven, the one from your dreams?
Or a hidden hell, masking your wound from prying eyes?
Are you free, my love, or still feel burdened?
Does this place hold warmth, or cold like this world?



Are you still wearing a smile to hide your frown,
Or do you still feel lost in broken pieces of your existence?
Are you ready to see yourself from my eyes,
Or does the image from that broken mirror still lingering in your mind?
Are you ready to love, to let me in,
Or does grief still whisper, "You're not free"?



Will you stay here, make this your FOREVER ,
Or does the journey call you to go further and farther?
Do you think this world is where you belong,
Or does the search continue forever till an infinite point?
Is this the home you’ve dreamed to find, the one you can call as MINE.
Or just a fleeting stop on the roads unknown?



I can feel the wait you're carrying still
That quiet fire burning within, that untamed will.
But my love, I'm here my arms open wide,
Whether you choose to stay or want to hide.
I’ll wait for your answer, I’ll wait to see,
Whether you name this your heaven or decide to leave us behind.
For love, my dear, is not a cage,
But a flame that warms through every stage.
Stay if you're whole, stay if you’re free,
But I’ll only ask,
"Are you here for me?"

​
Click to expand...
I didn't read it cuz I know it's lovely and fabulous like you.
I'll request @Hades to announce a competition of writing and award a new badge to those who wins that contest.
KAVIRAJ And KAVIYATRI new badges for Indian users
 
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