Stages of heartbreak: When they leave without an explanation.
Heartbreak is probably the most painful thing anyone can possibly go through. It could have been an year old , or a long term relationship, but the brash reality that the person doesn’t want you anymore is absolutely mind changing and you’ll probably spend the next 6 months wondering what the hell is wrong with you.
But the reality is, there is nothing wrong with you and you couldn’t have done anything different. I can tell you this right now and your friends can tell you this when you’re crying in your room at 2 am wondering how this happened and your mom can tell you this when she asks why you’ve been so down lately after you were on such a high because of a single human being. Don’t even bother asking them “why?” Because you will never get the real answer. It’s really scary how much a single person can effect you.
I’m not going to say that “everything happens for a reason” because that’s the last thing you’ll want to hear right now.
“Well, what’s the reason?”
And really, no one can tell you that except time itself and that’s the worst possible advice ever.
Having your heartbroken is so tragic, but so beautiful. And I know that sounds sick and twisted and that’s probably because it is. It’s like saying someone died and how beautiful the death was. But it’s crazy the way the mind works.
A friend of mine studying psychology told me that psychologically, the mind tends to remember scent more than anything else. More than touch, more than sight, I don’t know what it is about it, and neither did he.
You’ll catch yourself remembering the smell of her cologne when she use to sit near you . And maybe you’ll remember the smell of her hair which would have brushed ur face n number of times . It’s all mind games, just like how she played you.
And you don’t deserve games.
“Why can’t everything be easy?”
If she was easy, if your situation was easy, you wouldn’t have wanted her as bad as you did. The sad reality is that we always want the people we can’t have. And we always want the people who don’t want us. And then when someone finally comes around and treats us the way we deserve, it’s “creepy” or “annoying.”
But it’s not at all. We’re so used to being used and treated like we’re like any other human who will do anything to be with someone. But you’re NOT that person. She must have you confused with someone else if she thinks you’ll take any shit she throws at you.
If she doesn’t want you anymore, fuck never mind. She’s missing out on something truly incredible. You’re incredible, and just because one girl doesn’t realize it, doesn’t mean your anything less. You’re going to wish you regretted everything that happened between the two of you, but you won’t. And you’re going to hate it.
It’s almost scary how much a person can change your life in such a short amount of time. And you’ll never really understand it until you go through something so real and raw that you feel his imaginary fingertips trailing down your spine at 3 am when you’re laying in bed wide awake staring at your ceiling and asking anyone in the world who is listening to your thoughts why she had to do this because she was “so in love” And maybe she was in love, but maybe the love might have been vanished .
You’ll still feel the burning in your stomach whenever you see her, and you may spend some nights crying into your pillow while blaring the playlist she recommended you called “songs that remind me of you” as loud as you can and then you’re going to realize, through all the tears, that everything she said was absolute bullshit and that you were so used. And then you’re going to regret everything that happened between the two of you and every time someone tells you that “you’re over reacting” and “it was a learning experience,” you’re going to want to puke. Just do it honestly, I don’t blame you.
You’re not over reacting, and you’re not obsessed, and anyone who tells you that doesn’t know what it’s like. People think you can switch your feeling like a light switch, but it reality, you can’t. And you’ll learn that. And it’ll suck.
The good news is that you will be past the stage of being depressed and you’ll be into the stage of complete anger.
Deleting pictures and texts won’t get rid of the memories so don’t even try.she may delete anything that ever showed you guys had any contact with each other, but don’t do it. You don’t have to.
A piece of advice is to avoid wearing your heart on your sleeve and expressing your emotions to just anyone. I know it sounds awful, but people will take advantage of the drama and somehow it will be made into a huge ordeal and trust me, that’s the last thing you’ll want.
Don’t talk to her, I know you’ll want to come up with every excuse in the book as to why you have to text her and it’s all out of routine, but don’t put yourself through that for your own sake.
Eventually, with time, you’ll come to the realization suddenly when you see her talking about music , that glimmer in her eyes she gets when she talks about something she loves and you just won’t feel it. You won’t even realize it until you don’t have the urge to stare at the way her lips move and the way her lips will curve into the little half smile she does.
At that point, you’ll see that you could live without her.
There will be times you’ll see her with Her husband/fiance and your friends will bring up what the two of you had and claim they know “exactly what happened” and it’ll be so fucking infuriating and you’ll want to go through the stage of crying whenever you even saw her again, but you don’t want her, because you know she’s not what you deserve. And it’s a weird concept to understand, but you’ll get there eventually.
And then, she’ll be out of your life for good with a final goodbye when she graduates with a “good luck with everything! Keep in touch!” But you know you’ll never talk to her again. And it’ll be a sad reality at first, but it’s something you need. You’re never going to get the closure you want. There’s no point in asking for an explanation even months after the fact. But you don’t need closure anyway, you just need time. The point is, she’s just a person, she just happened to change a lot of things, now it’s time for you to take those changes and broken pieces she left for you to handle on your own, and fix them
Heartbreak is probably the most painful thing anyone can possibly go through. It could have been an year old , or a long term relationship, but the brash reality that the person doesn’t want you anymore is absolutely mind changing and you’ll probably spend the next 6 months wondering what the hell is wrong with you.
But the reality is, there is nothing wrong with you and you couldn’t have done anything different. I can tell you this right now and your friends can tell you this when you’re crying in your room at 2 am wondering how this happened and your mom can tell you this when she asks why you’ve been so down lately after you were on such a high because of a single human being. Don’t even bother asking them “why?” Because you will never get the real answer. It’s really scary how much a single person can effect you.
I’m not going to say that “everything happens for a reason” because that’s the last thing you’ll want to hear right now.
“Well, what’s the reason?”
And really, no one can tell you that except time itself and that’s the worst possible advice ever.
Having your heartbroken is so tragic, but so beautiful. And I know that sounds sick and twisted and that’s probably because it is. It’s like saying someone died and how beautiful the death was. But it’s crazy the way the mind works.
A friend of mine studying psychology told me that psychologically, the mind tends to remember scent more than anything else. More than touch, more than sight, I don’t know what it is about it, and neither did he.
You’ll catch yourself remembering the smell of her cologne when she use to sit near you . And maybe you’ll remember the smell of her hair which would have brushed ur face n number of times . It’s all mind games, just like how she played you.
And you don’t deserve games.
“Why can’t everything be easy?”
If she was easy, if your situation was easy, you wouldn’t have wanted her as bad as you did. The sad reality is that we always want the people we can’t have. And we always want the people who don’t want us. And then when someone finally comes around and treats us the way we deserve, it’s “creepy” or “annoying.”
But it’s not at all. We’re so used to being used and treated like we’re like any other human who will do anything to be with someone. But you’re NOT that person. She must have you confused with someone else if she thinks you’ll take any shit she throws at you.
If she doesn’t want you anymore, fuck never mind. She’s missing out on something truly incredible. You’re incredible, and just because one girl doesn’t realize it, doesn’t mean your anything less. You’re going to wish you regretted everything that happened between the two of you, but you won’t. And you’re going to hate it.
It’s almost scary how much a person can change your life in such a short amount of time. And you’ll never really understand it until you go through something so real and raw that you feel his imaginary fingertips trailing down your spine at 3 am when you’re laying in bed wide awake staring at your ceiling and asking anyone in the world who is listening to your thoughts why she had to do this because she was “so in love” And maybe she was in love, but maybe the love might have been vanished .
You’ll still feel the burning in your stomach whenever you see her, and you may spend some nights crying into your pillow while blaring the playlist she recommended you called “songs that remind me of you” as loud as you can and then you’re going to realize, through all the tears, that everything she said was absolute bullshit and that you were so used. And then you’re going to regret everything that happened between the two of you and every time someone tells you that “you’re over reacting” and “it was a learning experience,” you’re going to want to puke. Just do it honestly, I don’t blame you.
You’re not over reacting, and you’re not obsessed, and anyone who tells you that doesn’t know what it’s like. People think you can switch your feeling like a light switch, but it reality, you can’t. And you’ll learn that. And it’ll suck.
The good news is that you will be past the stage of being depressed and you’ll be into the stage of complete anger.
Deleting pictures and texts won’t get rid of the memories so don’t even try.she may delete anything that ever showed you guys had any contact with each other, but don’t do it. You don’t have to.
A piece of advice is to avoid wearing your heart on your sleeve and expressing your emotions to just anyone. I know it sounds awful, but people will take advantage of the drama and somehow it will be made into a huge ordeal and trust me, that’s the last thing you’ll want.
Don’t talk to her, I know you’ll want to come up with every excuse in the book as to why you have to text her and it’s all out of routine, but don’t put yourself through that for your own sake.
Eventually, with time, you’ll come to the realization suddenly when you see her talking about music , that glimmer in her eyes she gets when she talks about something she loves and you just won’t feel it. You won’t even realize it until you don’t have the urge to stare at the way her lips move and the way her lips will curve into the little half smile she does.
At that point, you’ll see that you could live without her.
There will be times you’ll see her with Her husband/fiance and your friends will bring up what the two of you had and claim they know “exactly what happened” and it’ll be so fucking infuriating and you’ll want to go through the stage of crying whenever you even saw her again, but you don’t want her, because you know she’s not what you deserve. And it’s a weird concept to understand, but you’ll get there eventually.
And then, she’ll be out of your life for good with a final goodbye when she graduates with a “good luck with everything! Keep in touch!” But you know you’ll never talk to her again. And it’ll be a sad reality at first, but it’s something you need. You’re never going to get the closure you want. There’s no point in asking for an explanation even months after the fact. But you don’t need closure anyway, you just need time. The point is, she’s just a person, she just happened to change a lot of things, now it’s time for you to take those changes and broken pieces she left for you to handle on your own, and fix them
