Paws & Punchlines: Chronicles of a Doggone Duo 9 (Dog version)

[Solara]

Previous Episode


Who Is This Man and Why Is He Touching My Hooman?

Me: Okay, okay, be nice, this is my boyfriend. Remember I told you?

She: *growling softly* He’s suspicious. I don’t like the way he’s breathing near you.

Me: Breathing is... kind of essential?

She: Not when it’s that close to your face. Back it up, Mister Love Interest.

Boyfriend: *laughing nervously* Uh… she’s cute.

She: *planting herself like a furry wall between us* I’m deadly. Cute is a cover story.

Me: Sweetheart, can I please hug him?

She: You may hug this plush toy I’ve brought you. It has no intentions. It also doesn’t try to kiss you.

Boyfriend: *trying again* Can I give her a treat?

She: Bribery is illegal in this house. Unless it’s cheese. …Is it cheese?

Me: Babe, she’ll come around. Just—let me try to pet you without a snout wedged in between us.

She: *grunts and glares* Just know... I’m watching. Always. One wrong move and I pee on his shoes.

Boyfriend: *whispers* Is she always like this?

Me: Nah, only with people I might like as much or more than her.

She: *huffs and flops on my feet* Correct.

 

[Spàrklé✨]

She’s the furry version of a bodyguard. No entry without cheese...lol...

 

[Solara]

She’s the furry version of a bodyguard. No entry without cheese...lol...

Tiny bodyguard lmao

 

[Dom55]

Previous Episode


Who Is This Man and Why Is He Touching My Hooman?

Me: Okay, okay, be nice, this is my boyfriend. Remember I told you?

She: *growling softly* He’s suspicious. I don’t like the way he’s breathing near you.

Me: Breathing is... kind of essential?

She: Not when it’s that close to your face. Back it up, Mister Love Interest.

Boyfriend: *laughing nervously* Uh… she’s cute.

She: *planting herself like a furry wall between us* I’m deadly. Cute is a cover story.

Me: Sweetheart, can I please hug him?

She: You may hug this plush toy I’ve brought you. It has no intentions. It also doesn’t try to kiss you.

Boyfriend: *trying again* Can I give her a treat?

She: Bribery is illegal in this house. Unless it’s cheese. …Is it cheese?

Me: Babe, she’ll come around. Just—let me try to pet you without a snout wedged in between us.

She: *grunts and glares* Just know... I’m watching. Always. One wrong move and I pee on his shoes.

Boyfriend: *whispers* Is she always like this?

Me: Nah, only with people I might like as much or more than her.

She: *huffs and flops on my feet* Correct.

I guess, she looks lilbit dominant. Why dont you tell her to leave your bf alone n stop disturbing him? Though, I should have to agree , she is really cute. Oh I mean to say deadly. She knows very well all tricks how to keep hooman in line. Humorous. Enjoyed very much as always . Ty for posting first ,that I selected. That doesnt mean I dont want to read remaining. Keep it up .Take your time.

 

[Solara]

I guess, she looks lilbit dominant

She's brattyyy LOL.

 

[zhou]

That's y I love cats dogs are aggressive mate

 

[Dom55]

She's brattyyy LOL.

Sangat ka asar

 

[Illusion]

Previous Episode


Who Is This Man and Why Is He Touching My Hooman?

Me: Okay, okay, be nice, this is my boyfriend. Remember I told you?

She: *growling softly* He’s suspicious. I don’t like the way he’s breathing near you.

Me: Breathing is... kind of essential?

She: Not when it’s that close to your face. Back it up, Mister Love Interest.

Boyfriend: *laughing nervously* Uh… she’s cute.

She: *planting herself like a furry wall between us* I’m deadly. Cute is a cover story.

Me: Sweetheart, can I please hug him?

She: You may hug this plush toy I’ve brought you. It has no intentions. It also doesn’t try to kiss you.

Boyfriend: *trying again* Can I give her a treat?

She: Bribery is illegal in this house. Unless it’s cheese. …Is it cheese?

Me: Babe, she’ll come around. Just—let me try to pet you without a snout wedged in between us.

She: *grunts and glares* Just know... I’m watching. Always. One wrong move and I pee on his shoes.

Boyfriend: *whispers* Is she always like this?

Me: Nah, only with people I might like as much or more than her.

She: *huffs and flops on my feet* Correct.

Cheese is a more like a entry pass lol!!

 

[Solara]

Sangat ka asar

Am not bratty !!!

 

[criss cross]

Previous Episode


Who Is This Man and Why Is He Touching My Hooman?

Me: Okay, okay, be nice, this is my boyfriend. Remember I told you?

She: *growling softly* He’s suspicious. I don’t like the way he’s breathing near you.

Me: Breathing is... kind of essential?

She: Not when it’s that close to your face. Back it up, Mister Love Interest.

Boyfriend: *laughing nervously* Uh… she’s cute.

She: *planting herself like a furry wall between us* I’m deadly. Cute is a cover story.

Me: Sweetheart, can I please hug him?

She: You may hug this plush toy I’ve brought you. It has no intentions. It also doesn’t try to kiss you.

Boyfriend: *trying again* Can I give her a treat?

She: Bribery is illegal in this house. Unless it’s cheese. …Is it cheese?

Me: Babe, she’ll come around. Just—let me try to pet you without a snout wedged in between us.

She: *grunts and glares* Just know... I’m watching. Always. One wrong move and I pee on his shoes.

Boyfriend: *whispers* Is she always like this?

Me: Nah, only with people I might like as much or more than her.

She: *huffs and flops on my feet* Correct.

"Haha, this was so cute and funny! Looks like there’s some serious competition for your attention

 

[De.whisky]

Previous Episode


Who Is This Man and Why Is He Touching My Hooman?

Me: Okay, okay, be nice, this is my boyfriend. Remember I told you?

She: *growling softly* He’s suspicious. I don’t like the way he’s breathing near you.

Me: Breathing is... kind of essential?

She: Not when it’s that close to your face. Back it up, Mister Love Interest.

Boyfriend: *laughing nervously* Uh… she’s cute.

She: *planting herself like a furry wall between us* I’m deadly. Cute is a cover story.

Me: Sweetheart, can I please hug him?

She: You may hug this plush toy I’ve brought you. It has no intentions. It also doesn’t try to kiss you.

Boyfriend: *trying again* Can I give her a treat?

She: Bribery is illegal in this house. Unless it’s cheese. …Is it cheese?

Me: Babe, she’ll come around. Just—let me try to pet you without a snout wedged in between us.

She: *grunts and glares* Just know... I’m watching. Always. One wrong move and I pee on his shoes.

Boyfriend: *whispers* Is she always like this?

Me: Nah, only with people I might like as much or more than her.

She: *huffs and flops on my feet* Correct.

Boyfriend: grinning Well, looks like I have two hearts to steal now. Challenge accepted.

She: narrowing eyes Bold words for someone one bark away from exile.

Me: laughing He’s not so bad once you get used to the breathing, I swear.

She: snorts That's what they all say... right before they fall for the puppy eyes and bad decisions.

Boyfriend: kneeling down with a piece of cheese How about we make a deal - you let me hug her, and you get unlimited treats... and unlimited belly rubs, if you’re into that.

She: pauses, calculating ...Terms are acceptable. But I’m watching. Hug softly. No funny business.

Me: smirking Wow, permission granted. You better move fast, babe, before she changes her mind.

Boyfriend: pulling me close Trust me, beautiful... I've been waiting to hold you since the second I walked through that door -
even if it means surviving the ultimate fluffy boss battle first.

She: grumbling Fine. But one wrong move and you’re sleeping outside.

 

[Nemo]

@Solara she's so cute and funny, definitely a little bodyguard but you wouldn't change her for the world would you?

 

[Solara]

That's y I love cats dogs are aggressive mate

Nooooo way lol.

 

[Solara]

Grrrrrr

@Solara she's so cute and funny, definitely a little bodyguard but you wouldn't change her for the world would you?

don't u even think of that lol

 

[Nemo]

That's y I love cats dogs are aggressive mate

Episode 5 and 7 are about cats...

 

[Solara]

Boyfriend: grinning Well, looks like I have two hearts to steal now. Challenge accepted.

She: narrowing eyes Bold words for someone one bark away from exile.

Me: laughing He’s not so bad once you get used to the breathing, I swear.

She: snorts That's what they all say... right before they fall for the puppy eyes and bad decisions.

Boyfriend: kneeling down with a piece of cheese How about we make a deal - you let me hug her, and you get unlimited treats... and unlimited belly rubs, if you’re into that.

She: pauses, calculating ...Terms are acceptable. But I’m watching. Hug softly. No funny business.

Me: smirking Wow, permission granted. You better move fast, babe, before she changes her mind.

Boyfriend: pulling me close Trust me, beautiful... I've been waiting to hold you since the second I walked through that door -
even if it means surviving the ultimate fluffy boss battle first.

She: grumbling Fine. But one wrong move and you’re sleeping outside.

I could do another version of the first meeting i guess *smirks*

 

[Solara]

[Door creaks open. Boyfriend steps inside with a nervous smile. Dog immediately halts mid-toy-chew, eyes widening.]

My Dog: (in an outrageously judgmental tone) "Excuse me. WHO authorized this entry?"

Me: (grinning nervously) "Baby girl, this is my boyfriend. Be nice, okay?"

My Dog: (side-eyes me, scandalized) "Boyfriend? You bring a man into my house without a background check?!"

Boyfriend: (chuckling, crouching down) "Hi there, pretty girl. You must be the boss around here."

My Dog: (raising an eyebrow) "‘Boss’? Oh no, honey. I’m the entire HR department, CEO, and Queen Mother combined."

Me: (snickering) "She's just being dramatic."

Boyfriend: (holding out hand) "I come in peace."

My Dog: (sniffing once, then dramatically gagging) "He smells like... AXE body spray and poor decisions."

Boyfriend: (mock offended) "Hey! It’s fancy cologne!"

My Dog: (ignores him, looks at me) "You let this near you? With your bare hands?"

Me: (giggling) "I like him!"

My Dog: (sighs dramatically, pacing) "First it’s liking him. Next thing you know, you’re sharing snacks and watching Netflix together. Where does it end?!"

Boyfriend: (laughing) "I brought her treats though!"

My Dog: (freezes, spins around) "You brought gifts?"

Boyfriend: (holding up a bag of dog treats) "Only the best."

My Dog: (snatching the bag, eyeing him thoughtfully) "Hmm. Bribery. Respectable tactic."

Me: (teasing) "So... do you approve?"

My Dog: (glaring at him) "Listen, buddy. I tolerate you for now. But hurt her feelings and I'll unleash a level of crazy you only read about in horror stories."

Boyfriend: (hands raised in surrender) "Message received, ma'am."

My Dog: (sitting regally on her throne-bed) "Good. Now, fetch me a snack and make yourself useful peasant."

Boyfriend: (muttering as he heads to the kitchen) "Already bossed around and I just got here..."

Me: (grinning ear to ear) "Welcome to the madness, babe."

My Dog: (calling after him) "AND MOJITO FOR THE QUEEN! Am sure she's thirsty." (Winks at me)

 

[Solara]

Is this one sassier than the first !??

 

[zhou]

[Door creaks open. Boyfriend steps inside with a nervous smile. Dog immediately halts mid-toy-chew, eyes widening.]

My Dog: (in an outrageously judgmental tone) "Excuse me. WHO authorized this entry?"

Me: (grinning nervously) "Baby girl, this is my boyfriend. Be nice, okay?"

My Dog: (side-eyes me, scandalized) "Boyfriend? You bring a man into my house without a background check?!"

Boyfriend: (chuckling, crouching down) "Hi there, pretty girl. You must be the boss around here."

My Dog: (raising an eyebrow) "‘Boss’? Oh no, honey. I’m the entire HR department, CEO, and Queen Mother combined."

Me: (snickering) "She's just being dramatic."

Boyfriend: (holding out hand) "I come in peace."

My Dog: (sniffing once, then dramatically gagging) "He smells like... AXE body spray and poor decisions."

Boyfriend: (mock offended) "Hey! It’s fancy cologne!"

My Dog: (ignores him, looks at me) "You let this near you? With your bare hands?"

Me: (giggling) "I like him!"

My Dog: (sighs dramatically, pacing) "First it’s liking him. Next thing you know, you’re sharing snacks and watching Netflix together. Where does it end?!"

Boyfriend: (laughing) "I brought her treats though!"

My Dog: (freezes, spins around) "You brought gifts?"

Boyfriend: (holding up a bag of dog treats) "Only the best."

My Dog: (snatching the bag, eyeing him thoughtfully) "Hmm. Bribery. Respectable tactic."

Me: (teasing) "So... do you approve?"

My Dog: (glaring at him) "Listen, buddy. I tolerate you for now. But hurt her feelings and I'll unleash a level of crazy you only read about in horror stories."

Boyfriend: (hands raised in surrender) "Message received, ma'am."

My Dog: (sitting regally on her throne-bed) "Good. Now, fetch me a snack and make yourself useful peasant."

Boyfriend: (muttering as he heads to the kitchen) "Already bossed around and I just got here..."

Me: (grinning ear to ear) "Welcome to the madness, babe."

My Dog: (calling after him) "AND MOJITO FOR THE QUEEN! Am sure she's thirsty." (Winks at me)

So now am approved

 

[zhou]

Is this one sassier than the first !??

Genuinely do a bit more if u can its good tho