LoL I read whole including her note to self..I know you didn't read the post
Seems interesting and appaling...
Not succumbing to the whims of people (I registered my nick)
- Thread starter Kamini
- Start date
Seems interesting and appaling...
Sorta relatable story but that’s not the point of me replying to your thread(I’ve read the whole). Wanted to let you know that in Bengali “Kamini”(কামিনী ফুল) is a highly scented white flower. Very well known for its practice as an offerings to Hindu gods during puja. This is the picture of the flower.Helloooo bad guys!!
I registered my nick as "Kamini" on chatrooms (identical with my forum Id). So if anyone saw anyone using a similar nick or my old nick Kamini24, just keep in mind that it is not me (not that I have many people whom I talk to but still it is better to be clear). And although I registered my nick, my visits are not gonna be frequent as I have other things to do. But on the contrary, on the forum, I might be more active as it is more feasible.
Fact (only for those who don't know): It is pronounced as Kaamini, not Kameeni, got it??
Optional reading: (not useful, just for the people who want more of me)
Why didn't I change my nick? (1 mark question)
100 marks answer: (because it is me)
Caution: After reading this, you may lose respect for me so read it at your own risk.
The thought of changing my nick occurred to me after I took a break and returned (I thought I would never return, but ZoZo became something I lean on to when I get bored). After my return, some people still continued to call me a bitch, a whore, and many things just because they don't understand the meaning of my nick. Of course, I faced the same issue when I first came to ZoZo. But I was going through something so I had to take that heat and I got used to it. I wanted to change my nick because of below reasons
1)Someone said Kamini sounds boring and doesn't have any ring to it
2)Some people said it feels like a hooker's name and I am tired of explaining to people that it is not a hooker's name
3)Some people even said it means a whore (those are dumb people for sure)
4)Someone said there are many Kaminis on ZoZo so you must choose a different nick to be unique
5)Someone said Kamini is a slang term people use to abuse people
So to understand why I didn't change, I think you should know why I chose this nick in the first place, and also you should know my flashback.
Black & white movie mode on
My journey (a confession):
The fallen angel---------------you didn't like my story's title?? Ok then let's go with
The bewitching demoness
I was broken before I came to ZoZo. I had to take someone off my mind, I had to get over my sadness and depression. I had to break this person's hold on me. Leaning on my friends didn't work well as they were busy with their lives and I too didn't wanna trouble them anymore. My family was not an option as I didn't want them to know I was going through a rough patch. So I had to find an alternative to deal with this stuff. So to do that, I thought I should do things that I am not supposed to do which includes having sex with strangers. It was not like I couldn't go out and have sex but there was Corona and I didn't want more emotional drama. And my morality will never let me do that. I just don't like having sex with strangers no matter how fancy it may seem, I don't want sex outside a relationship. I only like to have sex with a person when I get emotionally connected with them. But I had no time for that and I didn't want to be someone else's playtoy. So I thought let's do some sex chat as it is safer and sanitary. So first, I started searching for sex chat sites and bingo! ZoZo came as a rescue.
I entered ZoZo and lurked in the shadows for a while and observed secretly how the ZoZo works, how people behave and react.
View attachment 20563
Ooooooooooooh, Spooooooooooooooky
After that, I came to a conclusion to use Kamini24 as my nick (at that time I thought I was the only Kamini and I was not aware of Kaminis from other rooms). Most people don't know the actual meaning of the name Kamini. Most people think it means "full of lust", a seductress, or a whore. But the meaning is much deeper. It means "desirable one" or "a woman with desirable traits". But in reality, I am not desirable at all (at least not in my perspective) because I am boring, I am a severe case of OCD and I have anger issues, people are terrified of me, I worry a lot and do a lot of immature things as my emotions are intense, so some people had the audacity to brand me as a psycho. But I am smart (you must have figured it by now) and I knew the meaning of the name and also knew people would think sexy about the name as most people were just looking for sex chats, I knew they couldn't see beyond the name, that they couldn't see the meaning. But I knew that it would draw attention. So I used it as my nick and it drew attention like a crazy magnet, including abusers. I always blocked abusers but of course, I had sex chats with 5/6 people nice people (whom I thought to be mature), unmarried and single men (at least that was their claim, I don't get involved with married or committed men under any circumstances). Sometimes I even managed 3/4 chat tabs at the same time. That was one of the reasons, I never wanted VIP tag as VIPs don't get privates and I don't like to pick people to message them unless it is something important. It was not always sex chat but I was also involved in casual convos with many.
I am no dumb person, I knew it is not safe to share any personal info on this site as some people were so desperate they could try to track me down, so I cooked up some stories using my imagination (with elements of truth to it, don't ask me how much of it is true or untrue as I love to be a mystery, just like God) and used them to keep the convo funny and interesting and to sex chat with people but I always kept my character, it remained the same most of the time. Initially, I used to feel guilty as I was doing sex chats which I was not supposed to do (it is just not me, I was going against myself). Yet I never revealed my personal info or asked for anyone's personal info, I only cared about getting over my depression. Sometimes people asked me for my nudes (without my face), so I downloaded some pics from the internet and sent them (because you should never send your nudes to strangers, not a safe thing to do). And people were so desperate that they didn't even care to google search the pics and just believed they were mine. So I continued to do that and got over my sadness within a month or so (I think by the end of September, I entered ZoZo in the last week of August). I never asked people for their personal pics or nudes but we had a lot of fun just by sexting.
It really helped me cope with the pain to an extent as I felt much better and I stopped crying over and over again. Then I revealed to some (as I forgot some Ids whom I have sexted with) that the pics were not mine (it made some unhappy though but it was for their own good). Then I stopped sexting altogether as I realized I don't need those chats anymore and it was not their sex chats that healed me but their attention and care. Although they were sex chats, I felt like those people genuinely cared for me and that care healed me. But at the same time it came up with a price, it created new guilt inside me as it was not in my nature, it also made some people get emotionally involved with me which I didn't expect, like, or wanted. Some people came up with marriage proposals, some people wanted to meet me in person (including those whom I never sexted with). Some people were ready to go to any extent just to get my attention more.
Some started using nicks similar to mine, some started using multiple nicks to message me, some offered me money to flaunt myself on cam or to sleep with them. That really started getting on my nerves. I was dealing with my own emotions, then they came along so I had to deal with their emotions too, I had to make sure they don't do anything stupid or get depressed because of me. I got more than what I bargained for. At this point, I made myself very clear that I never had intentions of such and that I am not a whore, to them. My goal was to get over my suffering not to cause suffering to another being. So I started ignoring these emotional people, some understood, respected my feelings, and stopped bugging me. Some became vengeful and whenever they get a chance they still try to abuse me on the wall and in private using guest nicks, some started spreading lies about me. I still don't understand what they see in me as they don't even know me in person. So I, as Kamini24, have been through a lot on ZoZo. Kamini is my pride, so I kept it. Kamini is not a name, it is a phenomenon, a brand.
So I started spending time on the forum as it is more fun. You can share your knowledge, experiences, lessons, stories and discuss things openly without being judged. So here I am
Black & white movie mode off
Some people may find my nick boring. Well, I don't care. For a fact, I am boring in real life.
Some people may think it is a hooker's name. Well, you are welcome to think whatever you like. I am not gonna waste my time explaining to anyone else in the future.
Some people may think it means a whore. Well, if your heart is pure enough you can find goodness even in bad things.
Some people may think my nick is not unique as there are other Kaminis. Well, our nicks are similar but not our characters (I heard other Kaminis are also nice people).
Some people may think it is slang. Well, it is not in my lang.
If you read all this, you must be thinking "so you are a fake Kamini, you deceived many people". Well, yep, in a way I am a fake, in a way I am not. I never told people to get their hopes up, I never gave anyone false hope as I was always mindful of not hurting anyone and I never took advantage of anyone, I was very clear I don't want anything more than this, I always left the room for doubt, I always told people to not get emotional with me. So I am not a fake if you see me that way. But I will tell you what is not fake. My character, my principles, my ideology, my opinions, the advice that I give to people when they reach out to me, my loyalty, my knowledge, my wisdom, and my concern (if I show any). So if anyone doesn't like me watching this, go ahead and call me a fake. Because I don't care. I am evolved now, stronger and sharper. I am nothing to you and you are nothing to me. Let's be strangers till the end.
End of optional reading
Are you still reading?? Well, I didn't write all of this to gain your sympathy or anything. So don't even think about it as I don't care about people in here. Not even 0.1%. I just come here, crack some jokes, laugh, let people laugh, write, and leave. I wrote this thread as I couldn't fall asleep and out of boredom, so never mind commenting how boring it is.
Immature Kamini: Now people are gonna hate me
Mature Kamini: So what?? Let them hate you, let's not give a damn about them. It takes courage to confess, not everyone can do what you did today. Sleep well sweetheart
Immature Kamini: Ok, Good night
Mature Kamini: Good night
Edits: Better choice of words and fixed typos
Note to self: Can you please stop editing your old threads or comments? No one cares about your mistakes and you are not gonna get any reward for writing perfectly, without any mistakes. And people already saw it, so even if you correct them, it won't do any good. So chill out, you are getting obsessed with perfection these days. It is not gonna end up good for you, you are wasting so much time. And if you want to be productive, think about future, plan it, work more for it. Don't go back to past. And turn off alerts, if you think they are the reason you are checking your old threads again when someone comments on them. And by the way, "You are an idiot for editing this thread again".
