Click here Chapter 3
That silence was too heavy… so heavy that inside me a voice kept shouting, “please, not again.” I kept messaging for days, but there was no reply. Then it hit me—this time it’s really over. Still, I couldn’t accept it because I was trauma bonded.
Days went by. Some days I felt okay, some days full of anxiety, and a few were the worst. At times I just felt numb,.. like my nerves had stopped working. I even stopped enjoying my favorite street-side pani poori... I would just sit quietly and tears would roll down. It affected me both mentally and physically.
And then came that one horrible day… a day I had never experienced before and one I never want to face again. It is etched in my memory forever.
The day started like just another bad day, but as hours passed, things only got heavier and heavier. I couldn’t hold it in anymore—I broke down and cried so loudly, the kind of crying that doesn’t stop. It went on for hours.
After a point, I felt breathless, like I was gasping for air. My chest felt so heavy, my heart felt like it was choking me from inside. My whole body was trembling. That was a panic attack—the worst day of my life. In that one moment, I didn’t know how I would make it through, but somehow I survived.
And today, whenever I think back, I thank God every single day for carrying me through that moment. Because surviving that day showed me how fragile yet strong I really am.
That day, I realized enough was enough. It was time to accept things as they were. I began reading books on trauma bonding and did my own research online, and finally, I found my answers.
I wasn’t the problem.
I wasn’t expecting anything unnatural.
I wasn’t overly dependent,
nor was I asking for too much.
I found all my answers, regained my confidence, learned to smile again, and started enjoying the little things in life. Step by step, I moved forward.
But to my shock, that wasn’t the end.
One completely ordinary day—after a whole year—yes after a full long year ..I received a message: “How are you?” This time, it wasn’t just a message. It felt like a test of my strength.
Was I still craving those messages?
Still waiting for a response?
Continued to the last part...
Click here The end
That silence was too heavy… so heavy that inside me a voice kept shouting, “please, not again.” I kept messaging for days, but there was no reply. Then it hit me—this time it’s really over. Still, I couldn’t accept it because I was trauma bonded.
Days went by. Some days I felt okay, some days full of anxiety, and a few were the worst. At times I just felt numb,.. like my nerves had stopped working. I even stopped enjoying my favorite street-side pani poori... I would just sit quietly and tears would roll down. It affected me both mentally and physically.
And then came that one horrible day… a day I had never experienced before and one I never want to face again. It is etched in my memory forever.
The day started like just another bad day, but as hours passed, things only got heavier and heavier. I couldn’t hold it in anymore—I broke down and cried so loudly, the kind of crying that doesn’t stop. It went on for hours.
After a point, I felt breathless, like I was gasping for air. My chest felt so heavy, my heart felt like it was choking me from inside. My whole body was trembling. That was a panic attack—the worst day of my life. In that one moment, I didn’t know how I would make it through, but somehow I survived.
And today, whenever I think back, I thank God every single day for carrying me through that moment. Because surviving that day showed me how fragile yet strong I really am.
That day, I realized enough was enough. It was time to accept things as they were. I began reading books on trauma bonding and did my own research online, and finally, I found my answers.
I wasn’t the problem.
I wasn’t expecting anything unnatural.
I wasn’t overly dependent,
nor was I asking for too much.
I found all my answers, regained my confidence, learned to smile again, and started enjoying the little things in life. Step by step, I moved forward.
But to my shock, that wasn’t the end.
One completely ordinary day—after a whole year—yes after a full long year ..I received a message: “How are you?” This time, it wasn’t just a message. It felt like a test of my strength.
Was I still craving those messages?
Still waiting for a response?
Continued to the last part...
Click here The end
Last edited:
