Im sick of all the lies being fed to me by higher ups, the double standards are so glaring that denying them requires more effort than actually addressing them.
I remember that quite clearly. And looking at how everything has unfolded since, I cannot help but wonder whether you were ever interested in judging me fairly or whether you simply waited for an opportunity to prove that you were right about me.
Perhaps you never wanted me to succeed in the first place. Perhaps removing my badge was always going to be the outcome you preferred.
If that is the case, at least have the courage to own your bias instead of hiding behind the excuse that I was unfit to moderate.
This is someone who repeatedly abused me and allegedly used guest IDs to provoke others into abusing me, spread rumours about me, and behaved similarly towards another moderator, Subbalakshmi.
She repeatedly blamed admin Kanna for making me a moderator, rage-deleted her ID at least three times, and later got reverified.
This was also someone who had been placed on a ban-on-sight list for a period of time.
And what did you do, Master Blaster?
You unbanned her despite Aphrodite explicitly opposing the decision.
Apparently, a history of abuse is not a deal-breaker when the right person decides they deserve another chance.
Why were you so determined to give her that chance? Why was her return important enough for you to disregard a fellow owner's objections?
You have every right to make administrative decisions. But having the authority to make a decision does not automatically make that decision fair, sensible, or free from favouritism.
There are plenty of users in the Telugu room who have grudges against others. At least some of them confront people openly through their main IDs rather than allegedly hiding behind guest accounts, provoking situations, and operating behind the scenes. There are also users who have never engaged in this sort of behaviour.
Why are they not being considered for moderation?
What exactly makes Radhae so special? What has she done to earn this extraordinary level of leniency?
Or is the standard simply that some people have to prove themselves worthy of trust, while others get the benefit of every doubt imaginable?
And now, to make matters even more questionable, Radhae has been given moderator status under an alternate ID.
Why? What exactly is the reason for appointing her under a different identity rather than openly acknowledging her history to the Telugu room?
Is this an attempt to keep the room from connecting the moderator they see today with the person who allegedly abused members, spread rumours, and created so much conflict in the past?If her conduct was acceptable, why the need for an alternate ID?
And if her past conduct was serious enough to warrant a ban-on-sight period, why should the community not be allowed to question whether she is suitable for moderation now?
You cannot expect members to trust the moderation team while concealing a moderator’s identity behind an alternate account, especially when that person’s history is directly relevant to the trust being placed in them.
Was the alternate ID chosen for convenience, or because her history under her previous identity would have raised uncomfortable questions about this appointment?
Perhaps you're right. Perhaps I am emotional. Perhaps I do react when people repeatedly abuse me, humiliate me, and attempt to destroy my reputation.
But here's a question you seem to have conveniently overlooked: Since when did being hurt by abuse become a greater disqualification than engaging in abusive behaviour?
I reported Radhae for kicking me while another user was also poking me. She apparently failed to notice the person provoking me, yet somehow managed to notice me well enough to kick me. When I tagged her on the wall to report that people were poking me, she ignored my pings.
I raised the issue, and the thread in which I complained was deleted. Even now users are questioning why I am only kicked but we are getting silenced.
What a convenient way to resolve a complaint: eliminate the thread and pretend the problem has disappeared.
And then came the familiar defence about how she supposedly issued 15 warnings and had moderated for several weeks.
Congratulations. She issued warnings. Is that supposed to erase everything else?
Did I never issue warnings? Did I never mute or kick users? Did I spend approximately a year and a half moderating for decoration?
I did the job for a year and a half. She moderated for a few weeks. Yet somehow, her brief stint deserves defending while my experience seems remarkably easy to dismiss.
I am not claiming that my length of service automatically makes me a better moderator. I am pointing out the extraordinary inconsistency in the way our records and conduct are being judged.
You cannot use my emotional responses to justify stripping my badge while treating her history as something that can be overlooked, explained away, or conveniently forgotten.
If I was held to a standard, she should be held to the same one.
Unless, of course, the rules are only strict when the person being judged is someone you already dislike.
You tried to reduce my contributions, my work, and my reputation to a vulgar sexual rumour.
I deliberately maintained boundaries with male admins, moderators, and owners because I did not want to mix my personal life with my involvement on the site moderation. I wanted my contributions to speak for themselves. I did not want personal relationships with staff to become part of my reputation.
Yet you chose to suggest otherwise.
And now, look at where we are. You are a moderator.
So, Radhae, let me ask you a question in the same spirit as the questions you were so comfortable encouraging others to ask about me.
Should I start asking whose dick you supposedly sucked to get your position? Did you have to do cams or send pictures to receive the support you now enjoy?
No? Of course not. I have no evidence that you did any of those things, and I am not claiming that you did.
That is precisely the point.
Those are degrading insinuations, not evidence. They are the sort of allegations that can humiliate someone, undermine their credibility, and poison the way an entire community views them.
You apparently understood none of that when the target was me.
You had no problem questioning my dignity, spreading rumours about my supposed sexual favours, and inviting others to join in humiliating me. But imagine how quickly the situation would change if the same accusations were directed at you.
Would you consider them harmless gossip? Would you call them justified criticism? Or would you suddenly understand how disgusting it is to have your character reduced to baseless sexual speculation?
If you cannot tolerate those insinuations being directed at you, you had absolutely no business using them to attack me.
And Master Blaster, what does it say about your judgement that someone who allegedly engaged in this kind of character assassination has now been given moderation privileges?
I was supposedly unfit to moderate. Yet the person who tried to humiliate me and damage my reputation is now trusted with authority.
What an extraordinary coincidence.
Let's revisit a few things, shall we?
Was I creating drama when I reported the man on Twitter who was recording people's cams in IC, which led to the introduction of lock and visibility options for cams?
Was I creating drama when I reported users who were attempting to poach members into other chat sites?
Was I creating drama throughout the year and a half I spent moderating your site, dealing with users and trying to keep the Telugu room in order?
If my involvement was so unbearable, why was I given the position in the first place?
Were my contributions appreciated only when they benefited the site? Was I a valuable moderator when I was doing the work, but suddenly a dramatic troublemaker when I expected my own complaints to be taken seriously?
You cannot accept someone's labour, benefit from their vigilance, and then dismiss them as a drama queen the moment they demand accountability.
That is not leadership. That is expecting loyalty without offering fairness in return.
And deleting the thread does not answer a single question I raised. It merely prevents people from seeing the questions you apparently did not want to address.
You are entitled to dislike me. You are entitled to disagree with me. You are even entitled to decide that I should never moderate again.
But what you are not entitled to demand is that everyone blindly accept your decisions as impartial simply because you are an owner.
Having power is not the same as having integrity. Having the final say is not the same as being right. And deleting criticism is not the same as disproving it.
If you dislike me that much, remove my badge, ban me, or delete my ID. Do whatever you believe you need to do. I am not going to beg you for a badge or audition for your approval.
But spare me the pretence that this is all about standards when the standards seem to change depending on whose side you are on.
I would rather lose my place on a site than spend my time desperately trying to earn the approval of someone who has already decided that I am the problem.
I understand. Not everyone wants to risk their place in a community over a disagreement with the people who control it.
But do not mistake silence for agreement.
If this thread disappears too, it will only reinforce my concern that criticism is easier to suppress than answer. You can remove the words from the wall, but you cannot use deletion as a substitute for accountability.
I tried to resolve these issues privately. I tried to communicate respectfully. I gave the people involved opportunities to address my concerns without turning this into a public dispute.
What did that achieve?
I was ignored, my complaint was dismissed as drama, and the thread was deleted.
At some point, continuing to remain quiet stops being diplomacy and starts becoming an expectation that you will accept whatever treatment you receive.
I am done with that expectation.
You cannot demand respect from members while treating their concerns as an inconvenience. You cannot preach about moderation standards while applying them selectively. And you cannot expect people to trust the administration when they believe personal loyalties matter more than consistent judgement.
Among the staff members I dealt with, you were the ones who took the time to understand the problems I faced and offered me genuine support.
It was not the support I expected from the male admins and owners involved in these particular disputes. It was two fellow women who made me feel heard when I felt dismissed by the people with the greatest authority.
I will not forget that.
Thank you both for listening, for understanding, and for helping me when you could. Whatever happens after this, I genuinely appreciate what you did for me.
I can accept losing a position. I can accept criticism. I can accept that I may have made mistakes during my time as a moderator.
What I will not accept is being told that my emotions make me unfit for authority while someone who allegedly abused me, spread rumours about me, and attempted to undermine my reputation is given the very authority I lost.
I will not accept having my contributions forgotten while someone else's brief moderation experience is used as a defence.
And I will not accept being told I am creating drama simply because I refuse to let these issues be swept under the carpet.
Master Blaster, you can remove my badge. You can ban me. You can delete my ID. You can even delete this thread.
But none of those actions will answer the questions I have raised.
Radhae, you were comfortable questioning my dignity when you thought you could get away with it. I hope that, at the very least, you now understand why those same questions would be unacceptable if directed at you.
@Hades , if you genuinely believed I was nothing but a source of drama, you should never have appointed me in the first place. You do not get to benefit from someone's work and then rewrite their entire contribution as troublemaking when they speak against unfair treatment.
And Master Blaster @Administrator , if you believe your decisions are fair, you should have no difficulty explaining them without deleting the complaints they provoke.
I have said my goodbyes. I am not asking for my badge back, and I am not interested in fighting for a place in a community where I no longer trust the administration to treat me fairly.
I am leaving because I refuse to spend my time in a place where I feel that speaking up is more likely to get me punished than heard.
A badge is a privilege, not a measure of someone's character. An owner has authority, not automatic moral superiority. And a moderator title does not magically erase a person's history.
If this thread is deleted, so be it. If my ID is banned, so be it.
At least I will know that I said what I needed to say instead of remaining silent to protect the comfort and reputation of people who were unwilling to address my concerns.
I tried being respectful. I tried resolving things privately. I tried giving people the benefit of the doubt.
Now I am choosing to walk away with my self-respect intact.
You can take away my badge. You can take away my access. But you do not get to decide that my experience never happened simply because you would rather not answer for it.
1. Master Blaster, you never wanted me there in the first place.
When staff voted on whether I should become a moderator, @Shyam , Hades, and several other admins voted in favour. You were the only person who opposed my appointment from the very beginning.I remember that quite clearly. And looking at how everything has unfolded since, I cannot help but wonder whether you were ever interested in judging me fairly or whether you simply waited for an opportunity to prove that you were right about me.
Perhaps you never wanted me to succeed in the first place. Perhaps removing my badge was always going to be the outcome you preferred.
If that is the case, at least have the courage to own your bias instead of hiding behind the excuse that I was unfit to moderate.
2. You unbanned an abuser over a fellow owner's objections. Why?
Let's talk about Radhae.This is someone who repeatedly abused me and allegedly used guest IDs to provoke others into abusing me, spread rumours about me, and behaved similarly towards another moderator, Subbalakshmi.
She repeatedly blamed admin Kanna for making me a moderator, rage-deleted her ID at least three times, and later got reverified.
This was also someone who had been placed on a ban-on-sight list for a period of time.
And what did you do, Master Blaster?
You unbanned her despite Aphrodite explicitly opposing the decision.
Apparently, a history of abuse is not a deal-breaker when the right person decides they deserve another chance.
Why were you so determined to give her that chance? Why was her return important enough for you to disregard a fellow owner's objections?
You have every right to make administrative decisions. But having the authority to make a decision does not automatically make that decision fair, sensible, or free from favouritism.
There are plenty of users in the Telugu room who have grudges against others. At least some of them confront people openly through their main IDs rather than allegedly hiding behind guest accounts, provoking situations, and operating behind the scenes. There are also users who have never engaged in this sort of behaviour.
Why are they not being considered for moderation?
What exactly makes Radhae so special? What has she done to earn this extraordinary level of leniency?
Or is the standard simply that some people have to prove themselves worthy of trust, while others get the benefit of every doubt imaginable?
And now, to make matters even more questionable, Radhae has been given moderator status under an alternate ID.
Why? What exactly is the reason for appointing her under a different identity rather than openly acknowledging her history to the Telugu room?
Is this an attempt to keep the room from connecting the moderator they see today with the person who allegedly abused members, spread rumours, and created so much conflict in the past?If her conduct was acceptable, why the need for an alternate ID?
And if her past conduct was serious enough to warrant a ban-on-sight period, why should the community not be allowed to question whether she is suitable for moderation now?
You cannot expect members to trust the moderation team while concealing a moderator’s identity behind an alternate account, especially when that person’s history is directly relevant to the trust being placed in them.
Was the alternate ID chosen for convenience, or because her history under her previous identity would have raised uncomfortable questions about this appointment?
3. Apparently, I was too emotional to moderate. But an abuser is perfectly qualified?
You stripped me of my badge and said I was not fit to moderate the Telugu room.Perhaps you're right. Perhaps I am emotional. Perhaps I do react when people repeatedly abuse me, humiliate me, and attempt to destroy my reputation.
But here's a question you seem to have conveniently overlooked: Since when did being hurt by abuse become a greater disqualification than engaging in abusive behaviour?
I reported Radhae for kicking me while another user was also poking me. She apparently failed to notice the person provoking me, yet somehow managed to notice me well enough to kick me. When I tagged her on the wall to report that people were poking me, she ignored my pings.
I raised the issue, and the thread in which I complained was deleted. Even now users are questioning why I am only kicked but we are getting silenced.
What a convenient way to resolve a complaint: eliminate the thread and pretend the problem has disappeared.
And then came the familiar defence about how she supposedly issued 15 warnings and had moderated for several weeks.
Congratulations. She issued warnings. Is that supposed to erase everything else?
Did I never issue warnings? Did I never mute or kick users? Did I spend approximately a year and a half moderating for decoration?
I did the job for a year and a half. She moderated for a few weeks. Yet somehow, her brief stint deserves defending while my experience seems remarkably easy to dismiss.
I am not claiming that my length of service automatically makes me a better moderator. I am pointing out the extraordinary inconsistency in the way our records and conduct are being judged.
You cannot use my emotional responses to justify stripping my badge while treating her history as something that can be overlooked, explained away, or conveniently forgotten.
If I was held to a standard, she should be held to the same one.
Unless, of course, the rules are only strict when the person being judged is someone you already dislike.
4. Radhae, since you were so interested in my sex life, let's talk about your logic.
Radhae, you did not limit yourself to abusing me. You allegedly went around spreading sexual insinuations about me, slut-shaming me, and encouraging people to ask whose dick I had supposedly sucked to get my badge.You tried to reduce my contributions, my work, and my reputation to a vulgar sexual rumour.
I deliberately maintained boundaries with male admins, moderators, and owners because I did not want to mix my personal life with my involvement on the site moderation. I wanted my contributions to speak for themselves. I did not want personal relationships with staff to become part of my reputation.
Yet you chose to suggest otherwise.
And now, look at where we are. You are a moderator.
So, Radhae, let me ask you a question in the same spirit as the questions you were so comfortable encouraging others to ask about me.
Should I start asking whose dick you supposedly sucked to get your position? Did you have to do cams or send pictures to receive the support you now enjoy?
No? Of course not. I have no evidence that you did any of those things, and I am not claiming that you did.
That is precisely the point.
Those are degrading insinuations, not evidence. They are the sort of allegations that can humiliate someone, undermine their credibility, and poison the way an entire community views them.
You apparently understood none of that when the target was me.
You had no problem questioning my dignity, spreading rumours about my supposed sexual favours, and inviting others to join in humiliating me. But imagine how quickly the situation would change if the same accusations were directed at you.
Would you consider them harmless gossip? Would you call them justified criticism? Or would you suddenly understand how disgusting it is to have your character reduced to baseless sexual speculation?
If you cannot tolerate those insinuations being directed at you, you had absolutely no business using them to attack me.
And Master Blaster, what does it say about your judgement that someone who allegedly engaged in this kind of character assassination has now been given moderation privileges?
I was supposedly unfit to moderate. Yet the person who tried to humiliate me and damage my reputation is now trusted with authority.
What an extraordinary coincidence.
5. Hades, was I creating drama when my contributions were useful to you?
Hades, in the thread you deleted, you accused me of creating drama.Let's revisit a few things, shall we?
Was I creating drama when I reported the man on Twitter who was recording people's cams in IC, which led to the introduction of lock and visibility options for cams?
Was I creating drama when I reported users who were attempting to poach members into other chat sites?
Was I creating drama throughout the year and a half I spent moderating your site, dealing with users and trying to keep the Telugu room in order?
If my involvement was so unbearable, why was I given the position in the first place?
Were my contributions appreciated only when they benefited the site? Was I a valuable moderator when I was doing the work, but suddenly a dramatic troublemaker when I expected my own complaints to be taken seriously?
You cannot accept someone's labour, benefit from their vigilance, and then dismiss them as a drama queen the moment they demand accountability.
That is not leadership. That is expecting loyalty without offering fairness in return.
And deleting the thread does not answer a single question I raised. It merely prevents people from seeing the questions you apparently did not want to address.
6. Master Blaster, if you have a personal problem with me, stop disguising it as impartial administration.
You opposed my appointment from the beginning. My badge was eventually removed, and I was told I was unfit to moderate. Meanwhile, someone with a history of conflict and alleged abuse was given another chance and ultimately a position of authority.You are entitled to dislike me. You are entitled to disagree with me. You are even entitled to decide that I should never moderate again.
But what you are not entitled to demand is that everyone blindly accept your decisions as impartial simply because you are an owner.
Having power is not the same as having integrity. Having the final say is not the same as being right. And deleting criticism is not the same as disproving it.
If you dislike me that much, remove my badge, ban me, or delete my ID. Do whatever you believe you need to do. I am not going to beg you for a badge or audition for your approval.
But spare me the pretence that this is all about standards when the standards seem to change depending on whose side you are on.
I would rather lose my place on a site than spend my time desperately trying to earn the approval of someone who has already decided that I am the problem.
7. And if you delete this thread, at least make the reason obvious.
I know there are members who will read this and remain silent. Some may be afraid of losing their badges. Others may fear being banned or becoming the next target of staff displeasure.I understand. Not everyone wants to risk their place in a community over a disagreement with the people who control it.
But do not mistake silence for agreement.
If this thread disappears too, it will only reinforce my concern that criticism is easier to suppress than answer. You can remove the words from the wall, but you cannot use deletion as a substitute for accountability.
I tried to resolve these issues privately. I tried to communicate respectfully. I gave the people involved opportunities to address my concerns without turning this into a public dispute.
What did that achieve?
I was ignored, my complaint was dismissed as drama, and the thread was deleted.
At some point, continuing to remain quiet stops being diplomacy and starts becoming an expectation that you will accept whatever treatment you receive.
I am done with that expectation.
You cannot demand respect from members while treating their concerns as an inconvenience. You cannot preach about moderation standards while applying them selectively. And you cannot expect people to trust the administration when they believe personal loyalties matter more than consistent judgement.
8. The people who actually stood by me deserve to be acknowledged.
Despite everything, I want to thank @Aphrodite and @JUPITERAmong the staff members I dealt with, you were the ones who took the time to understand the problems I faced and offered me genuine support.
It was not the support I expected from the male admins and owners involved in these particular disputes. It was two fellow women who made me feel heard when I felt dismissed by the people with the greatest authority.
I will not forget that.
Thank you both for listening, for understanding, and for helping me when you could. Whatever happens after this, I genuinely appreciate what you did for me.
MY FINAL WORD
Let me make one thing absolutely clear: this was never just about a badge. It is about the hypocrisy of condemning one person's reactions while overlooking another person's alleged conduct.I can accept losing a position. I can accept criticism. I can accept that I may have made mistakes during my time as a moderator.
What I will not accept is being told that my emotions make me unfit for authority while someone who allegedly abused me, spread rumours about me, and attempted to undermine my reputation is given the very authority I lost.
I will not accept having my contributions forgotten while someone else's brief moderation experience is used as a defence.
And I will not accept being told I am creating drama simply because I refuse to let these issues be swept under the carpet.
Master Blaster, you can remove my badge. You can ban me. You can delete my ID. You can even delete this thread.
But none of those actions will answer the questions I have raised.
Radhae, you were comfortable questioning my dignity when you thought you could get away with it. I hope that, at the very least, you now understand why those same questions would be unacceptable if directed at you.
@Hades , if you genuinely believed I was nothing but a source of drama, you should never have appointed me in the first place. You do not get to benefit from someone's work and then rewrite their entire contribution as troublemaking when they speak against unfair treatment.
And Master Blaster @Administrator , if you believe your decisions are fair, you should have no difficulty explaining them without deleting the complaints they provoke.
I have said my goodbyes. I am not asking for my badge back, and I am not interested in fighting for a place in a community where I no longer trust the administration to treat me fairly.
I am leaving because I refuse to spend my time in a place where I feel that speaking up is more likely to get me punished than heard.
A badge is a privilege, not a measure of someone's character. An owner has authority, not automatic moral superiority. And a moderator title does not magically erase a person's history.
If this thread is deleted, so be it. If my ID is banned, so be it.
At least I will know that I said what I needed to say instead of remaining silent to protect the comfort and reputation of people who were unwilling to address my concerns.
I tried being respectful. I tried resolving things privately. I tried giving people the benefit of the doubt.
Now I am choosing to walk away with my self-respect intact.
You can take away my badge. You can take away my access. But you do not get to decide that my experience never happened simply because you would rather not answer for it.
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