I know that this is a topic that not many feel comfortable with, and is by far the reason for many senseless accusations and arguments. But it is something important to be talked about. I'll share my personal story and I hope you get to if not understand at least grasp the importance of this topic and that we men and women must fight to change that. Gender equality goes beyond equal rights at work place, or access
As funny and as surprising as it may seem Brazil is one of the most sexist countries in the world. Yes the land of Carnival, where apparently we women are free to wear what we want, to do what we want and etc... Unfortunately that is an illusion. Here on zozo many people have asked me if I like Carnival and my answer has always been the same NO, during Carnival is when most rapes happen, and yes that has to do with gender equality,, because this topic goes beyond equal rights at the work place, or in access of education. The way our bodies are seen, perceived and treated also indicate that there's an incresing growth of sexism and inequality. Here in Brazil at at every 11 minutes -according to govenmental sources- a woman is raped, and at every 3 hours one suffers from domestic violence and in one day 135 women are killed... The numbers grow every day and it is scary. I don't feel safe when walking on the streets, not only because of the muggings I've expericiened, but because often the same people who muggs you, may also try and succeed raping you. Wearing short skirts is a code for easy, you want to harassed, you want someone to come and grabb you against your will and have sex with you. Shocked? Well that's what the rapists say to justify their actions. I have been raped by my ex-husband once, about a year ago, we had been to a party and we both had a feel glasses of wine. He wasn't drunk, but I was, as soon as we got home he tried and I remember saying no, the minute I started falling asleep I felt him getting on top of me, taking my jeans off and opening my legs, I remember I said no again, but then I fell asleep and he didn't stop. Did I report him? No. But why someone who seems to be so aware about this topic, and is so clever, and apparently brave didn't get his ass in prison? Because when you go through something as degrading as this you just want to forget it ever happened, you blame yourself, because we women are conditioned to behave like this, to think it's our fault, that we did something wrong, that we may have given the wrong signs... I became part of statiscs and not in a good way.
Still shocked? This happens everyday everywhere all over the world. And it's all due to the fact that we don't treat each other with equality. I'm not here trying to say all men are sexist monsters, no, they suffer from it as well, because it's determined for them that they must be providers and strong figures, not allowed to have moments of weakness. And that is sad. Men lead the number of deaths by suicide due to depression and other mental illneses. Most of them don't seek for professional help because men are expected to show any sign of weakness, in this toxic understanding it says that it will make them less of a man if he ever admits he's sick and needs help. Men are strong providers, why should they give in to silly feelings? We are all humans bound to cry and laugh, to hurt and take a break from it, to get sick, to get better. But that's not how it works, especially in my country where the numbers of men who commit suicide grow every year. I watched two dear friends of mine, whom I've known my whole life crumble from depression, I remember asking if things were ok, and of always telling them that if needed they could just text me and I'd run to get to them, but they felt that need of being strong when they had the right of being weak, and in their despair they found in death the only solution to end with their pain. It's sad isn't it? Yes it is sad, we never expect any of our loved ones to go through it.
I was once discriminated in college on my second semester at Law school cause I was pregnant. I was told I couldn't be a lawyer because there was no way of being a mom and having a successful career. My professor looked at me and sai I should be prepping to change diapers and do house cleaning, college was over for me, that I should choose an easier course so I could be an well educated mother. He then yelled to the class, look at her girls, don't follow her example, don't get pregnant. I was only 19, still a teenager, and that man crushed my dreams. It's easy to say if it was me I'd... But when it's you, you can't really predict how you'll act, how you'll behave. After this episode I took a break from college, but after a few months I came back and kept studying Law, till for other reasons I changed courses. This happens every day, but what do we do to stop it?
but 135 women killed everyday?